brucevayne

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Brucevayne's favorite FMLs

It's Thursday!

By horriblefashionsense - 26/09/2013 15:20 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

agreeclassic 47 629

vote type 1 6 278

Mystery toilet

By wellcrap - 03/10/2013 05:41 - United States - Carrollton

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

agreeclassic 27 045

vote type 1 52 539

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 23:54 - United Kingdom - Bathgate

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

agreeclassic 50 191

vote type 1 3 776

Finger lickin'

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Brecksville

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

agreeclassic 24 600

vote type 1 43 896

By -__-" - 29/09/2013 05:45 - United States - Vancouver

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

agreeclassic 48 580

vote type 1 4 554