Michelle Balenzuela

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Michelle balenzuela's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 04:01

Today, my dog got out and ran off at 8 p.m., so I had 11 friends and family looking in the freezing cold night for it until 11:30 p.m. Turns out, the dog was locked in the garage the whole time. FML

agreeclassic 1 066

vote type 1 1 312

By krabby patty - 25/05/2018 06:00

Today, my husband and I mutually discovered that we are both infected with pubic lice. How? I found his and he found mine while we were in the middle of 69-ing each other. So, so gross. FML

agreeclassic 5 525

vote type 1 1 635

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

agreeclassic 1 538

vote type 1 926

By Milk Dispenser - 12/03/2019 05:00 - United States - Herriman

Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML

agreeclassic 2 000

vote type 1 387

By single-IKEA-furniture-builder - 02/03/2019 20:00

Today I asked the guy I recently fell in love with if he‘d help me assemble some ikea furniture in a new flat I‘ll move into, after having helped him in his flat extensively last month. He answered „actually, I am done with assembling furniture...and you.“ well, gee, thanks! FML

agreeclassic 2 390

vote type 1 213