uxbx

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Uxbx's favorite FMLs

Movie night

By Spanky - 23/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

agreeclassic 25 771

vote type 1 2 532

By j_babydoll6520 - 26/08/2011 11:09 - Australia

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

agreeclassic 41 682

vote type 1 3 159

By iwantmoney - 22/07/2011 00:20 - United States

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

agreeclassic 50 288

vote type 1 5 127

By Anonymous - 18/07/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

agreeclassic 43 165

vote type 1 3 741

By douglas - 17/07/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML

agreeclassic 40 197

vote type 1 8 260