freeport76

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Freeport76's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 23/01/2012 05:12 - United States

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

agreeclassic 11 402

vote type 1 36 060

By Emily27 - 20/01/2012 11:56 - United Kingdom

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

agreeclassic 39 442

vote type 1 4 954

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

agreeclassic 38 682

vote type 1 6 207

By communistgirl - 24/01/2012 16:42 - United States

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

agreeclassic 26 944

vote type 1 4 081

By antwo - 22/01/2012 04:50 - United States

Today, a cute girl was walking towards me. She held up her hand for a high five, so I also did the same. I hadn't noticed her friend behind me, and was left hanging and embarrassed. FML

agreeclassic 31 211

vote type 1 6 400