laurenydg

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Laurenydg's favorite FMLs

Stop, just stop

By Girl123999 - 04/03/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he spank you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

agreeclassic 266 323

vote type 1 35 538

Musical interlude

By Charlie529 - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa - New Germany

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

agreeclassic 47 937

vote type 1 14 204

Charlie529 app_comment_confession_title

Charlie529 5

Thursday 20 February 2014 18:08

My nick's misleading, but that is my name and I am a girl! Anyways. Thought I'd tell you all that I didn't get fired (O.o)/ However, I did have to give him (boss) an (exceptionally awkward) explanation because he thought I was watching funny youtube videos. He just keeps giving me the weirdest/funniest friggin' looks, and now uses the the keyword "Deep Purple" to get me to make him coffee. This acrid event seems to have made us friends. Thankfully my bowels have re-aligned to perfectly silent working condition. God, I hope he doesn't bring this up at the next work party. /dies

By fuck my goddamn life - 15/02/2014 20:51 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

agreeclassic 42 577

vote type 1 4 842

Baller move

By took it - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Syracuse

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

agreeclassic 44 328

vote type 1 8 553

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

agreeclassic 49 574

vote type 1 6 708