xsurfer

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Xsurfer's favorite FMLs

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

agreeclassic 52 484

vote type 1 16 564

Cake day

By wakinginvegas87 - 05/09/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

agreeclassic 38 775

vote type 1 5 324

By shelbs61 - 30/08/2010 19:55 - United States

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

agreeclassic 36 452

vote type 1 12 284

shelbs61 app_comment_confession_title

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Tuesday 31 August 2010 22:22

K, so this is Shelby, the person who wrote the FML. To whoever it may concern: When this guy asked me whether the rock was alive, I thought he was being sarcastic so I replied, "YES!! Haha." Then he wrote something down in his notebook and I asked if he was kidding. He looked up and said, "Just tell me the answer, I wanna finish my homework." Then he asked me if pasta was alive.

Praise the Lord

By Zippermania9 - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

agreeclassic 33 250

vote type 1 13 888

By Doritos - 17/06/2010 08:06 - United States

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

agreeclassic 569

vote type 1 37