nightwoman

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Nightwoman's favorite FMLs

Lost

By Icy - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on MSN when her roommate answered, "Sorry, this isn't Marie, she's at her boyfriend’s." Really? I've looked everywhere in my apartment, and I can’t find her. FML

agreeclassic 77 498

vote type 1 4 038

Cheeky

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother asks, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" My mom replied, "I'm a headmaster." My dad then goes, "Oh yeah, she is." FML

agreeclassic 20 140

vote type 1 2 535

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 20:36 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

agreeclassic 28 128

vote type 1 2 944

By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 14:43 - United States - Tyler

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

agreeclassic 30 226

vote type 1 2 821

By cassieleigh1 - 05/11/2015 05:05 - United States - Davenport

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

agreeclassic 22 201

vote type 1 1 967

cassieleigh1 app_comment_confession_title

cassieleigh1 8

Friday 6 November 2015 16:20

I'm laughing really hard at the comments! Yeah, my dads pretty awesome. He understands keyboards and computer basics but he seriously types with just his index finger, using both hands, just pick-poking around while squinting back and forth from screen to keyboard to see. Lol He's not a weird-pervert, but a 50 year old punk who wishes he were my age (18), and living in the 70s again. He actually snuck into the Mississippi Valley Fair in Iowa this recent year and didn't get caught hahaha. When I was a kid he used to "copy" entry stamps with pen to get us in free. 9th birthday he took me to a local heavy metal concert, not sure why they allowed 9 year olds in a mosh pit... Also saw Rush for my 11th or something.