joe0134718

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Joe0134718's favorite FMLs

By The Sbeak - 13/02/2009 15:54 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

agreeclassic 635

vote type 1 51

Didn't see ya there!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Langley

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I was enthusiastically pointing his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

agreeclassic 44 724

vote type 1 4 654

By Anonymous - 20/07/2014 05:23 - United States

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

agreeclassic 53 572

vote type 1 4 442

By Lisa - 18/07/2014 20:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

agreeclassic 52 134

vote type 1 7 384

By Sheh - 16/07/2014 15:02 - Sweden

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

agreeclassic 40 475

vote type 1 9 360

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Wednesday 16 July 2014 20:38

The bag of rice didn't have any handle, so I held it kinda resting against my torso, just like when holding my cat. I guess it has just become a habit. Loving all the puns :)