jesusXstomp

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cambridge, canada
32 years-old
Saturday 27 February 1993
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Jesusxstomp's favorite FMLs

Self-soothing

By FingerBang - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML

agreeclassic 13 299

vote type 1 34 723

By hamster cookie - 17/10/2009 21:08 - France

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

agreeclassic 48 325

vote type 1 5 097

Hey sexy…

By syn1734 - 16/10/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

agreeclassic 46 197

vote type 1 3 453

By Phazzer - 16/10/2009 13:39 - United States

Today, I went outside to enjoy the cool air without my glasses. I saw my neighbor doing the same, so I waved and said hi. When she didn't respond, I yelled and went back inside. It was only later when I went back out with my glasses on that I realized I was being ignored by a Halloween decoration. FML

agreeclassic 10 504

vote type 1 33 740