colonel_dante

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26 years-old
Monday 07 June 1999
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Colonel_dante's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

agreeclassic 29 913

vote type 1 4 613

By Bassackward - 25/08/2016 05:53

Today, I decided to pop the question to my beloved. Perfect lighting, fresh cut roses, a fancy dinner. The restaurant was in on it too. Shame they brought out the wedding-themed congratulations dessert before I actually went down on my knee. FML

agreeclassic 15 939

vote type 1 1 296

Save the planet? Nah

By Earthling - 25/08/2016 02:20 - Colombia - Bogot?

Today, our art teacher told us we will have to build a giant Coca-Cola bottle made of smaller ones as our art project for next week, meant to represent the damage consumerism does to our environment. I think he doesn’t understand we will have to buy tons of Coke to get the bottles needed. FML

agreeclassic 14 378

vote type 1 1 007

Can't filter that

By Weightlosshereicome - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oxford

Today, Snapchat thought my double chin was a mouth. FML

agreeclassic 15 737

vote type 1 4 645

Educate your sons

By Anonymous - 18/07/2015 05:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

agreeclassic 35 151

vote type 1 5 878