parishwalker

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Parishwalker's favorite FMLs

By Black - 12/12/2008 03:31 - Lebanon

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

agreeclassic 38 333

vote type 1 3 855

By hurt - 14/03/2010 00:27 - United States

Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML

agreeclassic 46 598

vote type 1 2 899

By Jeri - 26/02/2010 12:55 - United States

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing Xbox. FML

agreeclassic 60 172

vote type 1 4 345

By jacques - 02/02/2010 14:08 - Australia

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

agreeclassic 41 093

vote type 1 3 837

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

agreeclassic 39 819

vote type 1 3 408