salem99

miss

0
Followed

0
Followers

2
Badges!

1
Comments

112
Visits

9
Favorites

kanata, Canada
33 years-old
Monday 15 June 1992
single

A propos de Salem99

-funny -chill -myself

Salem99 - Followers

Salem99 - Followed

Salem99's page visits

lovers5201

Fucked!

Salem99's FML badges

3_badgename

3_badgedesc

9_badgename

9_badgedesc

1_badgename

1_badgedesc

24_badgename

24_badgedesc

44_badgename

44_badgedesc

45_badgename

45_badgedesc

47_badgename

47_badgedesc

48_badgename

48_badgedesc

49_badgename

49_badgedesc

18_badgename

18_badgedesc

16_badgename

16_badgedesc

15_badgename

15_badgedesc

14_badgename

14_badgedesc

13_badgename

13_badgedesc

10_badgename

10_badgedesc

5_badgename

5_badgedesc

4_badgename

4_badgedesc

61_badgename

61_badgedesc

badgeslisttofind

Salem99's favorite FMLs

The bitch is back

By thatsucks - 28/02/2009 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

agreeclassic 1 291 237

vote type 1 143 535

By littlelottie - 17/01/2012 17:04 - United States

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

agreeclassic 40 621

vote type 1 3 610

Drama!

By fuckparents - 09/01/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

agreeclassic 74 830

vote type 1 3 669

By Anonymous - 01/01/2012 18:09 - Canada

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

agreeclassic 36 970

vote type 1 10 894

By Grandson - 01/01/2012 13:51 - Australia

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

agreeclassic 37 898

vote type 1 2 751