Miscellaneous Today, I took a timed essay exam in my Honors English class.... - FML

ProbablyFailed - 29/02/2016 18:21 - United States - Markesan

Today, I took a timed essay exam in my Honors English class. I thought I did fairly well, and when time was up, I handed in my essay with confidence. Then, however, I overheard my classmates talking about the essay, and as it turns out, I answered the prompt using the wrong character. FML

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Today, my mom had a fit and confessed that my grandfather is also my father. Apparently, I was the product of a rape and she further confessed that she was going to abort me but chose not to, and she regrets her decision. What caused this conversation? Me watching the season 4 of "You" without telling her. FML

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Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

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Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

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Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML

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Today, while playing ping pong, my brother got mad that he lost and threw the paddle at my head, causing me to fall backwards into the TV mounted on the wall. Now I have a concussion and have to pay to replace the TV. FML

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Today, I finally felt the inspiration to write creatively again. I worked for an hour on a character concept before I realized I'd actually created an imaginary sister/best friend for myself because I’m so lonely. FML

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