Today, I had to read yet another FML about someone breaking wind... - FML

fiat850 - 07/02/2020 03:47

Today, I had to read yet another FML about someone breaking wind while suffering from indigestion and being surprised that they passed a stool into their underwear. How does anyone older than 3 not know what diarrhoea is? FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got my first job offer in over a year, a mere few days after being accepted to study for my dream career. My crippling depression won't allow me to enjoy any of it. FML

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Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML

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Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML

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Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML

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Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML

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Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

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