Health Today, I discovered that there was probably something wrong with... - FML

petert71 - 14/07/2016 11:05

Today, I discovered that there was probably something wrong with last nights chicken dinner. I also discovered that farting at work is a bad idea. FML.

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out that all of the times my mom told me that she was busy out of town wasn’t due to work, it was that she was going on vacations with her boyfriend and his kids. FML

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Today, as it has been for nearly 60 years, my name is Karen. I’ve never once asked to speak to the manager. FML

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Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

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Today, my kids got me a dog to replace the dog who died last year. I don’t like dogs, our old dog was my deceased wife’s dog, and I never liked it. I cared for the dog until it died of old age and fully intended to never get another one. Now I have a hyperactive puppy destroying my house. FML

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Today, our wedding was ruined. My fiancée detests children due to traumatic childhood abuse, so our wedding was adults only. Two families showed up with children known to always misbehave. The stress pushed my fiancée into a minor heart attack, she’s now in hospital and the wedding didn’t happen. FML

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Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML

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