Intimacy Today, after things started getting heated with me and the bf,... - FML

assphat789 - 26/04/2016 19:46 - Canada - Surrey

Today, after things started getting heated with me and the bf, he went down and starting exploring "down there." As I was about to climax, instead of the expected waves of pleasure my bf was greeted with a nice loud fart right in the mouth. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my bedroom in my gran's house gets the most sun in the evenings. There is no AC, not even a fan, and the only place cool enough to sleep is the basement. Which probably hasn’t been cleaned since the '80s, and I have to share it with the biggest spider ever and a beehive in the roller shutter casing. FML

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Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

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Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML

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Today, I realized I have most of the things I wanted when I was a kid. The ones I don't have are the emotional connections. I have all of the *material* things, and I hate my life because I'm lonely and touch-starved. FML

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Today, I was lifting weights at the gym and felt proud of myself for pushing through a tough set. Then, I looked down and noticed my shorts had ripped right along the seam. Based on their disgusted faces, everyone behind me got an unwelcome show. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML

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