Intimacy: Saucy

Saucy

By weeble_wobbles09 - 08/01/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML

agreeclassic 10 470

vote type 1 25 955

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By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

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Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

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No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

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By Username - 03/02/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML

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By idrathernotgiveoutmyname - 31/01/2012 02:50 - Canada

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Good for you

By denied - 11/08/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

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By ugh - 28/04/2009 21:49 - Canada

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

agreeclassic 20 979

vote type 1 57 488

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

agreeclassic 20 428

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By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

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craze189 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:50

ydi for texting anyone that you have "explosive diarreah". FHL for having to read it.

spank_u_veryhard 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:35

maybe he has a shit fetish lmao response back from him: I'm skipping baseball practice. I'll be right over...

Comments

Darksun1 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:13

Haha woooooow! can I get fries with th

spank_u_veryhard 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:35

maybe he has a shit fetish lmao response back from him: I'm skipping baseball practice. I'll be right over...

Messeract 4

Thursday 20 March 2014 7:43

Lol what if

Justine Malang 16

Sunday 15 July 2018 0:10

Goddamn lol that's funny asf

iheartjustinsane 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:41

YDI for being a **** AND a dumbass! Good job!

Brennaa69 5

Monday 4 April 2011 20:47

Lol being a ****? Thats a bit over the top.. she was only talking to the guy.

craze189 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:50

ydi for texting anyone that you have "explosive diarreah". FHL for having to read it.

craze189 0

Friday 8 January 2010 16:52

*diarrhea

Wooddaver 0

Friday 8 January 2010 17:15

so you're saying he ****** the shit out of you yesterday? YDI for having rough sex with a stranger.

Cowless 0

Friday 8 January 2010 17:25

It's a hook up. Why do you care?

Spac3Ghost 0

Friday 8 January 2010 17:46

hahaha!!! your life dude =) YDI it hard for not proof checking!!! =)

dazzlingstar1987 0

Friday 8 January 2010 18:56

hahahah I would play it off like u were joking if it's not too late

wtsc 0

Friday 8 January 2010 21:49

YDI for being a **** and a moron at the same time!

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Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

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Today, my 36 year-old ex-husband is engaged to my 18 year-old little sister. She’s graduating from high school in May of this year. Our divorce was finalized 3 months ago. My life should be a reality drama show. FML

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Saucy

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No. Just… No.

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