Management

Management

By Lt. Dan - 10/12/2020 05:01 - Germany - Castrop-rauxel

Today, I told my boss to choose between A and B, with A achieving his longterm goal, and B producing a quick win, but not leading to anywhere near A. He told me to come with a "hybrid" approach." FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 186

Jot that down

By mustanggt - 16/03/2023 18:00 - United States - Coronado

Today, my workplace's new policy requires me to ask employees why they're calling out sick. I had to listen to the answer, "When it comes out of your bum, like a bullet from a gun…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 147

Invasion of privacy

By Anonymous - 19/06/2025 15:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 556

Slackers

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 21:36 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 122

You deserved it 1 525

HR sucks

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 22:00 - United States - Akron

Today, HR informed me that they would not be investigating my formal complaint against my boss. This after four months of relentless bullying, including calling me while I was on vacation to tell me to do work, and eliminating my position when she found out I had gone to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 77

Thanks, Rebecca

By Anonymous - 03/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Columbia

Today, a client called my supervisor to complain that I wasn’t answering my phone. Then they called patients' advocate and submitted a second complaint. I was on my lunch break, but still got written up the moment I returned. No, I wasn’t late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 70

Hard worker

By 2fast4U - 21/03/2016 10:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, some of my coworkers have complained that I don't do my share of the work, though they can't specify exactly what I'm not getting done. Apparently, being too efficient and finishing first means I mustn't have done anything at all. The supervisor sided with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 498

You deserved it 1 659

Do nothing

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 02:00

Today, I watched my manager take his entire in tray of customer complaints and tip them straight into the recycling without reading them. At least this explains why we are consistently the “best store in the region for customer satisfaction.” Now I don’t know what to do about what I saw FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 129

Office politics

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 00:00

Today, I was turned down for a promotion because of complaints on my file. I’d never heard of them, so I demanded to see them. Every complaint was filed in the last six months and signed by either him or the other manager who doesn’t like me. Guess who got promoted instead? His “secret” side chick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 84

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 01/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I received an email from my boss announcing a new company policy that everyone already hates. Meaning to vent, I typed a snarky reply meant for my friend, saying, "Guess we’re all fucking robots now, huh?" I'd hit "Reply All" instead. Now the entire office, including my boss, knows exactly what I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 706

Slacker

By Anonymous - 03/07/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I sent a Slack message intended for my coworker/friend to my boss. The message included plans to "get through the workday without actually working." My boss perked his head up at the other end of the office before I had time to realise what I'd done, and asked if we needed to talk about my future in the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 786

Mismanaged

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my manager issued our next month's schedule, where I’m only working 12 hours a week, which is bollocks. He tried to claim he did it so I could spend more time with my baby. What baby? I have no baby. The prick can’t even remember who I am. Give me hours and pay me money, you wanker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 112

How is this my problem?

By Anonymous - 10/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Beckton

Today, my manager and I were talking about one of our new hires, who I have been getting on well with already. My manager is happy with the newbie's work, but not with their interactions with our coworkers. Yeah… that's on me. My bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 129

One rule for thee…

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I got screamed at by my boss for holding a guy to corporate policy at a rental agency. The guy was rich, so apparently rules don't apply to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 89

Stolen valor

By ImpsonFamily - 25/03/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, a manager was credited for coming up with a safety idea. This is the same idea I brought up weeks prior and was told it was silly by said manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 74

Hotdesking sucks

By Bowerbird74 - 30/08/2022 12:00 - Bulgaria

Today, it was a new co-worker's first day, and yet again management told them to use the room I always use, and I yet again had to relocate my stuff to accommodate the newbie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 145

Mismanagement

By Anonymous - 27/01/2025 22:00 - Philippines - Taytay

Today, I got written up at work for a mistake I did not even do, and that I even helped solve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 79

Polytrouble

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 00:02

Today, I'm in a polyamorous relationship. My husband and my boyfriend are both aware and are okay with it. Today they met. Not only are they okay with each other, they’ve hit it off. They've drafted a schedule of which days they want, meals, and chores for me on those days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 980

Manager of the year

By xmeatballx21 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday." He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 989

You deserved it 3 512

Thanks, I hate it

By CakeEater - 13/05/2022 04:00

Today, after I let my job know I needed time off for a friend's funeral a week ahead of time and they declined to approve it, telling me to call in sick, the day of the funeral arrived and I called in sick, only to come back to a write-up and threats of being fired for not getting it approved in advance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 92

Nature called

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 461

Breaking news

By Deedee - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, fifteen minutes before the end of the day, my boss asked me who I was training to replace me. He then said never mind, that it was his job to choose someone. I hadn't indicated that I was planning on leaving the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 388

You deserved it 352

What were you thinking?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2016 10:04 - Australia - Brunswick

Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 325

You deserved it 27 306

I need this

By Toosicktoquit - 07/04/2025 06:24 - United States - Omaha

Today, I woke up in the ER after constant coughing and pneumonia made me pass out. I told my boss I was in the hospital with an infection and 235/163 blood pressure, so I wouldn’t be in. His response was, “So, you are a lazy POS and expect your colleagues to cover you?” I’d quit if my health was better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 197

tiptoppc tells us more.

tiptoppc 19

Sunday 6 April 2025 21:05

An update: I ended up quitting in February and am starting a new job in about a week from now. It wasn’t easy finding a tech job in middle of the Midwest in the current market conditions, but getting a new job came with appreciation of my skills and a pay raise, and i know reputation of new employer. Me leaving created a shit show at old job as all my scripts were deleted. The ones my ex coworkers used to do their job. At least my last two weeks were paid with no need to do work (due to my former admin rights and damage any kind of revenge acts could cause, in this case totally justified and they followed proper protocol for my type of access), but from my contact with ex coworkers shows shit went south due to it. I’m looking forward to the new job as well.

Do something, anything

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was assigned to work on a group project with some coworkers. The entire time, one guy insisted on "taking charge" and assigning everyone tasks. He gave me a single task: “Create a 15-slide presentation.” I completed it in less than an hour. He then decided we needed a 100-slide presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 78

Welcome to the machine

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 02:01

Today, after not being on the schedule for a week, I checked to see what my next shift was, only to find my employee profile edited to 'disabled' and still no hours or word from any managers. This after weeks of showing up at the drop of a hat when needed for any position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 98

Scammed out

By Karen - 05/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Solon

Today, after leaving one job, reducing my hours at another, completing all the onboarding requirements for a nursing home, and dealing with serious anxiety, I was told they don’t have hours available for me and don’t know when they will. I got laid off before even starting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 87

Top dog

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my sexist, misogynistic boss showed me a new program we all have to use. After several minutes of him explaining it badly and belittling me for doing it wrong, I opened a sub-folder that showed that I CREATED THE PROGRAM. He walked away, then later wrote me up for "having a bad attitude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 140

Morale booster

By Keith from Mars - 05/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was trying to give a motivational speech to my team at work, because morale has been low. Halfway through, I blanked and ended up just saying gibberish and stuff like, "We’ll just fake it until we… you know… whatever happens. You know?" Not exactly inspiring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 468

Intelligent design

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our boss replaced all our computers with new Apple iMacs, which have fewer USB ports and none of our software or saved files. He insists it’s all “in the Cloud thing somewhere, figure it out and show some damn gratitude.” We are now incapable of doing our jobs but he insists he’s blameless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 67

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Clothes Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Mother in law Management Capitalism Work Disappointment Job interview Awkward Technology ADHD Miscellaneous Medication Relatable Dogs Delivery Wake up Food Language Cooking Annoying Bikes Transportation Intimacy NSFW Sex Kids

The Top

The Top

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 278

You deserved it 7 072

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 446

You deserved it 2 445

Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 636

You deserved it 1 763

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 372

You deserved it 4 625

Today, I found the girl I like’s Hinge account. Her prompts and things in common are exactly me and what I bring into a relationship, yet she rejected me. When I brought this up with her, she told me, “Well, you’re exactly what I want in a man, but I want someone taller with better looks.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 213

Today, my boyfriend told me he lost his feelings for me and is breaking up with me. He also told me he’ll be glad to contribute to raising our son, who I gave birth to 3 months ago. To rub salt in the wound, he announced on Facebook as “In a relationship” with his coworker 12 hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 94