Homeowners

Wheeler dealer

By htiek - 07/03/2025 22:00 - Canada - Thornhill

Today, my wife ripped my head off because my brother-in-law is buying a commercial office building in Moncton and I wasn’t the agent that found him the property. I sell commercial real estate in GTA. I don’t even know where Moncton is on a map. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 118

One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall!

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 05:59

Today, my husband pre-ordered $500 worth of Transformers figures. We're supposed to be trying to save up for a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 173

Buyer's market

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 00:01

Today, I found out that my childhood vacation home was on sale for 149K. We sold it for 99K 9 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 240

Open season

By Mapmouse - 27/01/2021 11:03

Today, I drove home to Las Vegas after being in quarantine in Los Angeles for two weeks. The lights were on and the lock was busted. My apartment is completely ransacked. Yay 2021. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 115

No contact

By Newbrokehome - 07/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Pleasant Hope

Today, I'm closing on my first house. Everyone's congratulating me, but all I can think about is the impending fallout when I tell my abusive, psychotic mother she's not welcome and the family sides with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 101

Poisoned chalice

By Anonymous - 30/01/2022 05:00

Today, my great aunt left me her house in her will. She probably thought she was doing something nice, but unfortunately she has no head for practical matters and ownership included both her mortgages, so by the time I sold her house and paid the mortgages, I’m now £140,000 in the hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 201

Don't bite off more than you can chew

By What do I do? - 09/07/2025 15:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, and for sometime, my husband and I have been discussing owning a home - a house or an apartment or other options. I've always wanted to live in a house, but I'm 100% sure I can't keep up with the chores or keep it clean. An apartment I can manage to clean, but not a house. I told him my vote is for apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 371

Landscaping

By Anonymous - 17/02/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband discovered our neighbour's fence was over our property line by 6 feet and kicked up a fuss about moving the fence. It turns out my husband can’t measure for shit. The fence is actually inside the neighbour's property, and he insisted we move it. There is now no room to park my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 463

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 11:09

Today, I was supposed to close on a house. Unfortunately, our lender decided that they couldn't finance us and denied us a loan, after 3 months of us digging up paperwork, saving money, and packing. Now we have to scramble to find a new place, while our insane landlady screams at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 86

Breeders

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 07:59 - United States - Spokane

Today, I'm closing on a house with my boyfriend of 9 years at the end of this week. We have plans to be engaged. When discussing what rooms would be what, he mentioned how one could be a nursery. I told him 9 years ago, and several other times, that I didn't want kids. Turns out he's been waiting for me to change my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 452

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 780

You deserved it 3 575

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss, a true knobhead, bought the house next door to mine. Now not only does he ruin my life at work, I might have to see him and talk to him when I’m not at work as well. He once sent me home from work because he said my red tie clashed with my suit and made me look unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 84

Dried out

By Anonymous - 21/12/2020 02:01 - Canada

Today, after spending $300 replacing a dryer and getting the vents cleaned out when our tenants complained their clothes weren't getting dry, my husband and I realized that it was actually the washing machine that was broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 291

Hurry up!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 02:02

Today, my wife told me not to rush her during packing for our upcoming move. She's lived in the house for 30 years and apparently needs to reminisce over every single item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 316

Like what you've done with the place

By me. - 29/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Roseau

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 208

You deserved it 2 933

Just a tad

By concusion - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 134

You deserved it 3 350

The Good Life

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 11:01

Today, I live in a tiny village in the countryside. Nice and quiet, right? Wrong. The farm next door rents out their land to some kind of soil processing company. Basically, it’s like living next to a never-ending construction site that knows neither Sundays nor holidays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 77

Revenge strikes again

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 20:01

Today, we inherited a house from my grandma in a homeowners association. My husband told the HOA president he's looking forward to defying the rules and annoying the rich snobs on this street who made grandma miserable by complaining about the state of her house while she was dying. FUCK THEM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 159

One man and his lawn

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 23:00 - United States - Little Rock

Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 135

Our house, in the middle of our street

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 02:01

Today, and over the years, my wife has methodically destroyed our house, insisting she is good at DIY. Our house is either in bits, half-finished or falling apart. I had it confirmed by a realtor, who assessed the house as worth 100 grand less than we paid for it. It’s a building site with a roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 223

The future is bleak

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 10:00

Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 328

Bee Movie 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 08:02 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I woke up to the inside of my house covered in bees. Hundreds of them. I have been complaining about a bee problem to the HOA for two weeks, and their response has been, “The hive was taken care of." Well, a few hundred bees inside and a few thousand on my outside wall beg to disagree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 130

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 17:12 - United States - Eagle River

Today, four days after moving into my new house, I woke up to a guy yelling, "Fuck you, Claire" followed by a brick smashing through my living room window. Now I know why Claire was so eager to finalize the sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 372

You deserved it 1 583

Nearly Halloween

By boo - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Gainesville

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 838

You deserved it 6 416

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 12/01/2022 01:59

Today, I found out that my dad left his entire estate to charity in his will, including his house. He knew I needed that house to get my kids back, because I’m currently homeless and my kids are in care until I can prove I have a suitable place for us to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 764

Mr Commitment

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 05:00

Today, after I caught my (now ex) boyfriend cheating. He told me that it isn't my business if he was seeing other woman, because we didn't had an official relationship. We have been living together in a house we bought, for two years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 161

That took a dark turn…

By lukey101 - 16/12/2020 16:58 - Australia - Caboolture

Today, I asked a colleague what part of town he was from. After explaining, he went on to say how much his wife loved the house and its location. That was of course until she died and soiled herself in their bed one night, which he didn't realise until the next morning. Sorry for asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 163

Thanks!

By rachel - 19/02/2011 01:06 - United States

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should, "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 812

You deserved it 8 623

Open invitation

By Anonymous - 18/04/2022 12:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 196

OCD

By Anonymous - 23/01/2021 02:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, the room I am renting from an old lady is stuffed with porcelain figures, etc. I carefully put them into the drawers to create some space for the books I need for college. While I was gone, she used her key and put all the porcelain figures back on the shelves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 141

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The Top

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 458

You deserved it 3 258

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 261

You deserved it 4 733

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 367

You deserved it 2 414

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 916

You deserved it 4 117

Today, I finally felt the inspiration to write creatively again. I worked for an hour on a character concept before I realized I'd actually created an imaginary sister/best friend for myself because I’m so lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 245

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 110