hahahalololololo

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML