livewithasmile

Girl…

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML