kj_mkd

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Kj_mkd's favorite FMLs

Will youuuuuuu ?

By Ido - 26/08/2010 20:06 - Canada

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

agreeclassic 39 191

vote type 1 16 247

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

agreeclassic 600

vote type 1 46

By checkup - 15/07/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

agreeclassic 43 361

vote type 1 5 091

By a4rk - 08/07/2012 18:32 - Malaysia - Sibu

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

agreeclassic 24 838

vote type 1 4 490

By kalikanna - 07/07/2012 06:10 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

agreeclassic 35 914

vote type 1 4 226

kalikanna app_comment_confession_title

kalikanna 0

Saturday 7 July 2012 19:32

Well how about this. This tool place in Florida, not new jersey. Yes there was a hole in the roof but he patched it up pretty quick. Yes my dad is a redneck and it was a brown recluse so it deserved to die. XD