bitchpleasemike

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Bitchpleasemike's favorite FMLs

Cosy chat

By sick and awkward - 20/05/2012 06:11 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

agreeclassic 32 379

vote type 1 3 590

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 17:02 - United States - Houston

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

agreeclassic 28 934

vote type 1 5 606

By mhm - 06/05/2012 02:21 - Canada - Woodbridge

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

agreeclassic 12 535

vote type 1 37 483

By lafinesse - 14/05/2012 22:23

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

agreeclassic 44 662

vote type 1 4 534

By anonymous - 14/05/2012 10:31 - United States - Havelock

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

agreeclassic 40 707

vote type 1 6 425