hacelepues

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Hacelepues's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

agreeclassic 490

vote type 1 186

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

agreeclassic 29 793

vote type 1 76 033

ARE YOU ******* SORRY?

By hyper12332 - 29/04/2009 14:35 - Australia

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball… right into her face again. FML

agreeclassic 70 115

vote type 1 31 393

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said, "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

agreeclassic 54 066

vote type 1 12 714

By soooyeah - 30/04/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

agreeclassic 526

vote type 1 80