Dogdick1

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Dogdick1's favorite FMLs

Judgmental much!?

By Stairway2Heaven - 02/03/2009 21:03 - Canada

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML

agreeclassic 69 676

vote type 1 19 456

By Kevin - 13/02/2012 06:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

agreeclassic 43 779

vote type 1 10 593

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

agreeclassic 34 724

vote type 1 9 803

Nature is healing

By squirrels69ing - 22/05/2011 01:00 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

agreeclassic 48 053

vote type 1 6 292

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

agreeclassic 35 988

vote type 1 4 664