soccerstar1996

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Soccerstar1996's favorite FMLs

By Noname - 22/01/2009 23:27 - Canada

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

agreeclassic 54 815

vote type 1 10 227

By smokecloud_ - 30/12/2013 21:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

agreeclassic 52 310

vote type 1 5 387

Freaky dreams

By beemove - 28/12/2013 21:19 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I took an extra Xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

agreeclassic 45 394

vote type 1 10 744

By goodgrief - 30/10/2013 18:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

agreeclassic 51 951

vote type 1 8 798

By WalnutGaming - 22/10/2013 19:20 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

agreeclassic 43 221

vote type 1 8 074

WalnutGaming app_comment_confession_title

WalnutGaming 16

Wednesday 23 October 2013 4:27

Hey guys. I did end up finding my dog. For those who said get a treat or meat, my dog would be way down the street by that time. My dog had stopped to "say Hi" to my neighbor and her dog. I used this method because my dog was trained to come to me when I lay down, but something made him run instead. In training meat was put on the ground and I was put on the ground and my dog chose me first over the meat. He is a good dog really, this is his first actual stunt hes pulled. Anyway, just thought it'd be nice to fill you guys in.