GrantOldham

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Grantoldham's favorite FMLs

By sysadmin:~# rm -rf / - 12/09/2013 19:40 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

agreeclassic 44 712

vote type 1 7 453

By Blood on my hands - 07/08/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

agreeclassic 53 175

vote type 1 25 761

By all by myself - 25/12/2012 05:00 - United States - Alaska Peninsula Nwr

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

agreeclassic 40 002

vote type 1 4 345

By Thebestman123 - 05/08/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

agreeclassic 61 111

vote type 1 3 239

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 00:38 - Canada

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

agreeclassic 72 303

vote type 1 7 359