sadwert

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Sadwert's favorite FMLs

Concentration face

By Nuttree - 01/08/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having sex. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

agreeclassic 30 453

vote type 1 6 892

By Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood - 09/12/2013 05:52 - United States - West Bend

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

agreeclassic 51 776

vote type 1 7 912

By ashsaunde - 08/12/2013 06:58 - United States - Denver

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

agreeclassic 44 916

vote type 1 5 184

ashsaunde app_comment_confession_title

ashsaunde 13

Sunday 8 December 2013 20:40

Hey OP here! First off, thanks for publishing this. It's the first one I've ever submitted. Secondly, yes he was finger painting with it as well as wiping his butt on everything in his room. We're in the middle of potty training so he thought he was helping by cleaning himself off. I also had to clean him and all of his stuffed animals up because he got it EVERYWHERE. Yes, he did get punished in an appropriate way because he's not gonna know it was wrong unless I teach him. And to the comment that I said I need to watch him better, it was while he was napping in his room. Any parent knows you can't watch your kids constantly.

By damn dog - 05/07/2013 05:43 - United States

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

agreeclassic 40 701

vote type 1 7 868

By babs - 07/05/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

agreeclassic 51 194

vote type 1 4 755