flamingdogsicle

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Flamingdogsicle's favorite FMLs

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By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

agreeclassic 15 736

vote type 1 32 237

By TeddyBearKiller - 07/10/2013 01:11 - United States

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

agreeclassic 47 699

vote type 1 3 300

By NykP - 02/10/2013 16:56 - United States - Mesa

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

agreeclassic 47 579

vote type 1 3 902

NykP app_comment_confession_title

NykP 25

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:16

Hi, I'm the OP. For one, I certainly do not have an IPhone, I have an old brick that doesn't have data. Secondly, I actually have my account set up so I cannot be over-drafted so all of the charges got declined and I have already shut down the card. Now my card was not actually stolen, they were just using the numbers. I asked the bank how they could have gotten those and they couldn't give me a definitive answer. They said it's as easy as your waitress could have copied the numbers and is using it online or something got hacked. Thirdly, I have no money because I am just a poor college student. I work two jobs but with the cost of school I have nothing left to keep in my account. I do not have a house, I am living in a little room at my grandparents. I do have a cat, but I buy large bags of food and it lasts him like three months. I do not have any children. I was certainly laughing at the stupid person who would try to steal from me.

By NestHead - 01/10/2013 17:32 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

agreeclassic 47 106

vote type 1 5 870

By DrtySnchez - 18/08/2013 09:37 - United States - Statham

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

agreeclassic 58 001

vote type 1 3 656