velvetreverie

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Yakima, USA
35 years-old
Friday 28 September 1990
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Velvetreverie's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 04/02/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

agreeclassic 78 028

vote type 1 7 447

Romantic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

agreeclassic 32 931

vote type 1 6 876

By Username - 21/01/2011 03:55

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 28 241

vote type 1 3 651

By Username - 21/01/2011 01:41

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said, "I'm cheap and I'm easy." FML

agreeclassic 14 213

vote type 1 34 276

By welly223 - 20/01/2011 06:01 - Canada

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

agreeclassic 27 227

vote type 1 3 294