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Gottaplayfootbal's favorite FMLs

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

agreeclassic 64 709

vote type 1 11 372

Sketchy

By Notadrinkanddriveidiot - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the backseat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

agreeclassic 15 776

vote type 1 47 657

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

agreeclassic 17 699

vote type 1 46 161

By XxFA1LxX - 06/11/2011 05:14 - Canada

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

agreeclassic 32 752

vote type 1 18 106

XxFA1LxX app_comment_confession_title

XxFA1LxX 4

Monday 7 November 2011 5:54

It was a deflection. It's not like I was stupid enough to purposely shoot on my own net.

By sakura_girl - 04/11/2011 11:59 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

agreeclassic 31 771

vote type 1 2 964

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sakura_girl 14

Friday 4 November 2011 20:10

Patient needs routine blood investigations; medical student needs more experience. That's the gist of it.