maemismile

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Gotham City, Bitches
30 years-old
Monday 26 June 1995
Not specified

A propos de Maemismile

I like batman, theatre, and cats. That's about it. If your end game is nudes, don't bother. But seriously, don't message me. And realllyyyyy don't call me ma'am.

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Maemismile's favorite FMLs

#humblebrag

By Burst a Valve - 26/02/2017 18:00 - Australia

Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML

agreeclassic 8 683

vote type 1 2 919

By Stephden - 26/02/2017 19:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, after recently getting my doctorate, I went to Starbucks. The barista asked how to spell my name (Steven): with a 'ph' or a 'v'. I jokingly said, "Steven with a PhD". She wrote "Stephden" on my cup. FML

agreeclassic 2 486

vote type 1 5 963

Cost of living crisis

By hiddenplainly - 24/02/2017 10:00 - United States

Today, I did my budget. I have a good job, make decent money, and work full time, but without including any flexible spending items like groceries, I make $32 less than my bills each month. FML

agreeclassic 6 309

vote type 1 1 245

By Why Is It Always Me - 21/02/2017 12:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, during an interview, I was given a list of items and asked which items I would take to a deserted island. When I chose a Bible, the interviewer asked why. I replied, "So I can burn it." What I meant to say was, "So I can use it to start a fire if the trees on the island bear fruit." FML

agreeclassic 5 611

vote type 1 3 219

What a treat

By Anonymous - 17/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Sainte Genevieve

Today, I asked if my friend wanted to come meet my dog and give him a treat. We were walking to my back yard, her holding 3 hot dogs, when she said, "I think your dog is dead!" I said, "No, he's just old and sleeps all the time and won't wake up until you pet him because he's deaf." He was dead. FML

agreeclassic 9 692

vote type 1 665