LoveMachine29

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BC, Canada
29 years-old
Thursday 18 April 1996
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A propos de Lovemachine29

Hockey player from Canada braa. My birthday is actually April 20, but for some reason FML isn't letting me use it, so it changes it to random dates :( ~~ let's play, I'll let you wrestle me, you can win all day~~

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Lovemachine29's favorite FMLs

By Kourou - 21/11/2008 12:53 - France

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

agreeclassic 34 231

vote type 1 3 056

What a dick

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

agreeclassic 69 737

vote type 1 5 180

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

agreeclassic 37 107

vote type 1 16 281

Pleased to see me?

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

agreeclassic 35 820

vote type 1 20 071

Man child

By Anonymous - 26/10/2011 23:44 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

agreeclassic 46 699

vote type 1 5 936