clumsy94

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Clumsy94's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

agreeclassic 49 457

vote type 1 4 640

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

agreeclassic 34 459

vote type 1 3 397

By ILoveAnimals - 11/06/2012 07:14 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

agreeclassic 32 788

vote type 1 5 557

You what?

By whattheheck - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

agreeclassic 36 634

vote type 1 3 568

By The Sbeak - 13/02/2009 15:54 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

agreeclassic 635

vote type 1 51