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Akademika's favorite FMLs

What?

By Patrick - 23/02/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year-old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

agreeclassic 30 062

vote type 1 7 450

By Almostfunny - 16/03/2011 13:01 - United States

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

agreeclassic 18 357

vote type 1 52 260

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

agreeclassic 13 783

vote type 1 38 606

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

agreeclassic 57 180

vote type 1 4 225

Wanking yourself to death

By SkinsCastSelection - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

agreeclassic 20 312

vote type 1 47 647