CaptMacLeod

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Lancaster, CA
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A propos de Captmacleod

Graphic Designer. Renfaire enthusiast. Member of Her Majesty's Minstrel Cycle. Jack of all trades, master of some.

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Captmacleod's favorite FMLs

Congratulations!

By jennabee97 - 08/11/2014 23:02 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

agreeclassic 46 956

vote type 1 4 328

By what did I do? - 25/10/2013 11:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

agreeclassic 48 206

vote type 1 21 387

By noooooo - 21/02/2016 16:03 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, I'm locked in a bedroom with two dogs to keep them from barking at the guy fixing our water heater. One of them is stress-farting. FML

agreeclassic 21 013

vote type 1 2 223

By cemakara3 - 12/03/2016 20:07 - Denmark - Vallensb?k

Today, I had sex for the first time. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me because I don't think she is pretty enough since I "wanted it to be over so fast". FML

agreeclassic 22 244

vote type 1 3 077

cemakara3 app_comment_confession_title

cemakara3 11

Sunday 13 March 2016 20:05

Hey OP here. I showed my gf some of the comments on here and she is not mad anymore. Thanks!!

By bandaidstations - 17/08/2015 03:33 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

agreeclassic 18 580

vote type 1 19 404

bandaidstations app_comment_confession_title

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Monday 17 August 2015 19:54

I didn't think it was swiss..I made a stupid joke that backfired. Cheddar cheese balls are the only fried cheese item we carry. There is a 6 foot menu board with the description right under the item. The customer is a regular who comes in and harasses us all the time. He says things like I will go to hell for having a tattoo while he buys lottery tickets out of the machine. Since he laughs the comments he makes off like he's joking, I figured I could joke with him a bit.