alkaline_cyanide

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Bulahdelah, Australia
33 years-old
Monday 21 September 1992
Not specified

A propos de Alkaline_cyanide

My name is Alana. Am addicted to Mass Effect and chocolate, laughing with friends at FML's and quoting cyanide and happiness comics in real life. 'I found this turtle behind the barn.....' I play guitar and trumpet, and punk and ska is the way to go!

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Alkaline_cyanide's favorite FMLs

So, here's the thing…

By HairyBoobs - 05/11/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

agreeclassic 43 430

vote type 1 6 897

By freylero - 27/10/2009 19:35 - United Kingdom

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

agreeclassic 36 652

vote type 1 5 246

freylero app_comment_confession_title

freylero 5

Wednesday 28 October 2009 11:55

Basically, he's had hamsters that have dies before, and we always gave them a funeral... so I didn't want to bury him in a plastic tube so my husband gave me the job of removing the hamster....

By Ahhwtf - 18/08/2009 11:47 - United States

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

agreeclassic 45 743

vote type 1 9 815

By Non-active - 25/09/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

agreeclassic 49 318

vote type 1 3 282

By mudafkrmas - 18/09/2009 04:14 - Canada

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

agreeclassic 15 619

vote type 1 33 385