HoboMeth - 25/01/2016 00:48 - United States - San Diego Today, someone tried to rob my store with a paintball gun. FML 0 0
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML 31 582 65 222
Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML 35 277 4 813
Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML 26 248 2 365
Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML 13 493 37 044
Today, I once again had to listen to my husband and the girl he’s cheating on me with have sex in our bed, all while I sleep on the couch in the living room. I’m an immigrant and got my Green Card through him. If I divorce him, Immigration will think the marriage was fraudulent and I’ll be deported back to my country. FML 1 058 388
Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML 13 433 24 508