Today, I learned how to change oil in a car. I also learned that...

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By Megatron - 05/09/2017 19:22

Today, I learned how to change oil in a car. I also learned that even if you're laying a good half a foot to the left of the oil filter, it can still cover half of your face in oil if you aren't prepared for it. And it tastes disgusting. FML.

agreeclassic 43

vote type 1 19

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML

agreeclassic 32 813

vote type 1 10 917

Today, not thinking and being pissed off, I threw my phone in the car, making a decent sized crack in the windshield. FML

agreeclassic 13 490

vote type 1 31 956

Today, despite 18 years of marriage and two kids together, my father-in-law still insists my wife will one day grow up, realise I was the result of some rebellious phase she’s going through, divorce me and marry a decent boy from her hometown. FML

agreeclassic 1 201

vote type 1 81

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

agreeclassic 31 351

vote type 1 3 343

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

agreeclassic 65 171

vote type 1 6 368

Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

agreeclassic 34 817

vote type 1 2 770