Miscellaneous Today, I found a small ladybug in my breadsticks that I got from... - FML

DailyWTF - 24/02/2016 16:44 - United States - Huron

Today, I found a small ladybug in my breadsticks that I got from a local restaurant. After getting up from my table and confronting the manager, he insists that I put the bug there just to get something in return. FML

1

1

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

3 367

524

Today, after months of getting shockingly more action from my girlfriend then at any point in our last 6 months together, I found out I’m getting more because she cut back on her formerly unmentioned husband’s “access.” Apparently, he refuses to lose weight. FML

2 782

401

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

28 109

2 012

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

44 417

13 068

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

47 577

8 985

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

42 633

17 986