Your everyday life stories

Snuggle

Anonymous - 22/09/2025 03:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my partner by leaving a love letter on his car's windshield while he was at work. He texted me later saying, “You know you left that on my coworker’s car, right?” Now some stranger thinks I want to “snuggle forever.” FML

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Totally worth it

Sarah - 10/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML

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Chilling

QuentinX - 11/01/2026 15:00

Today, I tried to casually lean against a counter during a conversation at a party and missed. I recovered by pretending I meant to crouch and check my shoelaces. No one bought it. FML

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When you're a hammer…

Anonymous - 09/11/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend, a blacksmith, said he needed a break because he had a terrible thumping pain in his anvil. It took me way too long to realise what he’d said and that he was taking the piss. FML

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Disconnect

Sad vegan girl - 15/08/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML

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Single dad struggles

Just kids being kids - 02/12/2025 12:00

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML

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Stalking the past

Cringe - 09/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was going down nostalgia road on Instagram at 2 a.m when I accidentally liked a photo on my ex’s account from seven years ago. I panicked, unliked it, locked my phone, and threw it across the bed like it was possessed. I still haven’t unclenched because I don't know if he'll see it or not. FML

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TGIF

Anonymous - 26/09/2025 00:00

Today, I ended a presentation with what I thought would be a mic-drop moment. I said, “Thank you for your time,” clicked the slide remote dramatically, and walked straight into a glass wall instead of the exit door. FML

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Roomba shuffle

Anonymous - 17/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML

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Merry ******* Christmass

Joanne85 - 24/12/2025 22:00

Today, I volunteered to host Christmas dinner for the first time. I forgot to thaw the turkey. We ate sides, wine, and sat in disappointment while the turkey slowly defrosted in the sink. I'm never doing this again. FML

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Another brick in the wall

Anonymous - 28/09/2025 12:00

Today, I had a four and a half hour Saturday detention for skipping a regular detention. We had to wear full school uniform then sit at our desks and write an essay for two hours, then a 15 minute break, then another two hours of essay writing. I thought it was a cruel and harsh punishment, but did I deserve it? FML

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The Boo Radleys?

Anonymous - 18/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was running late and tried to sneak out of the house without waking anyone up. My phone alarm, which I forgot was set on max volume, blasted a loud “WAKE UP!” at 7 AM right as I opened the front door. Everyone in the house was wide awake instantly. FML

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To the moon!

juggalo2 - 03/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my wife I was getting nervous about the surge in silver prices, and I wanted to sell some of our holdings. She told me not to be a "paper-handsing little bitch." FML

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ADHD brain

Anonymous - 12/01/2026 20:00

Today, I cleaned my room, which I’d been putting off for ages. Halfway through, I sat down “just for a second” to check my phone. Two hours later, I was still scrolling, surrounded by half-sorted piles of stuff. When my roommate walked in and asked if I was reorganizing or giving up, I didn’t know. FML

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How to make it awkward for everyone

Anonymous - 09/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML

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Coyness is nice, and coyness can stop you…

Krissy - 01/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to a friend's party, only to realize I was in the wrong apartment, after getting the address confused. Instead of awkwardly leaving, I stayed for a bit and pretended I was someone’s cousin. I was oddly suspicious that no one noticed me mingling, but then it turned out to be a shady MLM recruitment party for a leggings company. FML

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Freak out

Brave - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML

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Go team!

Mustanggt - 28/11/2025 22:00

Today, my team was mistakenly scheduled against an over-60 team. I'd feel sorry for the old fogeys if they hadn't beaten us 3-0 and racked up seven yellow cards and a red on the way to doing so. FML

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Naughty boy

Mark - 25/11/2025 12:00

Today, coming home with my water bottle and venti Starbucks in one hand, and my 4 month-old leashed puppy on my other hand, I entered my condo building as a little girl was holding the door open. As I said thank you, my dog lunged towards her, I pulled him back, and most of my Caramel Brûlée Latte went flying. FML

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First question: Why?

Jackie Lee - 23/06/2025 03:00 - United States - Salisbury

Today, I went dumpster diving with my partner, looking for random things, and my phone fell into the dumpster. My partner went in there to look for it and couldn't find it, so now I'm phoneless and my phone is somewhere in the dumpster mixed into the trash. FML

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Beep beep

Anonymous - 25/12/2025 22:00

Today, I took my partner’s car to fill with gas because mine was in the shop. Out of habit, I put diesel into the tank. We discovered it three hours later; the tow bill ate my weekly budget, the mechanic sighed through the repair estimate, and I spent the evening on hold with roadside help. FML

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Take the L, dude

Paint on fire - 22/02/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out the girl I’ve spent so much time bending over backwards for lied about having to work on Valentine’s. She went on a date with another guy instead. Furious, I went to Lowe’s and bought red paint to douse on her car. I cut my hand and had to get stitches trying to open the case. I can never win. FML

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Multitasking

Anonymous - 14/06/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, during an online class, I forgot to mute myself while trying to get my dog to poop. The whole class, including my professor, heard me sing “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa to motivate her. They all had many questions when I came back on camera. FML

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Merry little Christmas

Anonymous - 06/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was uninvited to the family Christmas party. Apparently, everyone is tired of me "refusing to watch or discipline my own kids". Sure, one of them is autistic and has violent meltdowns, but I thought it took a village to raise a child? FML

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Hangry

Bitch shut up they ain't paying you to snitch - 10/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was hungry. Lacking money, I went into a Wawa and snagged a few tasty snacks, then walked out. Some damn do-gooder followed me out, shouting, "HE DIDN'T PAY!! THAT MAN DID NOT PAY!" I got my snacks confiscated and myself banned for life. FML

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Perfect

AITA - 05/01/2026 20:00

Today, I opened the bathroom door without knocking and walked in on my wife’s sister (who lives with us) showering naked. Seeing her perfect, drenched body turned me on. I'm now unable to get an erection with my wife, because I can’t remember the last time her body looked like that. I feel awful. FML

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We meet again (somewhat)

Tracey - 09/09/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I ran to hug my best friend at the airport after not seeing her for two years. I sprinted, arms wide, yelling her name. Turns out it wasn’t her. It was a stranger with the same haircut who looked absolutely horrified as I body-slammed them in baggage claim. My actual friend was behind me, trying to film the embarrassment. FML

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To infinity and beyond

Gwen - 07/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, it's much easier to get things on now in our 40s than it was when we were younger. However, if I want to boost things even further, I don't need adult movies, but an episode of the Buzz Lightyear show from 2000s. This guy gives me such a girl boner that my husband now calls our sexual stuff "Lightyearing around." FML

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Safe travels

Anonymous - 21/11/2025 12:00

Today, as I was traveling in Japan, out of boredom in the middle of the night, I downloaded a dating website and was cheated out of over 30,000 yuan, which was equivalent to my monthly salary. FML

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There was an attempt…

Anonymous - 26/03/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I tried to flirt with a guy at the gym by commenting on his headphones, saying, “Nice headphones, you must be into music.” He stared at me blankly and said, “I’m not wearing any headphones, these are just my ears.” I swear I heard him laugh as I backed away, defeated. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out that I'm highly-placed in my wrestling competition this year. I also found out that I have mono and won't be able to take part for at least the first half of the competition. FML

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Today, five years after the birth of our last child, my husband still hasn't gotten the vasectomy he swore he would get. He wouldn't let me get my tubes tied, because it was "the least he could do," but when I ask about it, I'm a nag. FML

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Today, I bought some roller skates to go with the set my daughter got for her birthday. I haven’t skated since I was a kid, but I figured it was like riding a bike and I couldn’t have forgotten altogether. My broken coccyx disagrees. FML

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Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML

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Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my phone rang. We continued to have sex while I took the call. It was my gyno calling to tell me that I tested positive for chlamydia and that I needed to tell my partner. Yeah, sex ended real quick. FML

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Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by the ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend, simply saying, "I'm eating a hot dog." FML

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