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Be quiet

By type quiet - 11/03/2026 00:00

Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 118

Best prepared

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 12:00

Today, I called in a refill for a vital medication that I've been on since a couple of decades ago. No big deal since I called a week in advance. I then received a notification that the specific medication is out of stock at the moment, and they won't have another set ready for four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 53

Grunt work

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Spartanburg

Today, my coworkers wouldn't help cover the front desk and help answer phones at work. They had agreed to do this with our three bosses in the room, after having a discussion about it and coming to an agreement to do this in two hour shifts. They are both older than me and have less work to do than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 66

Pancake day

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 15:00

Today, I burnt my finger making pancakes for my kid. After hopping around and running the blister under cold water, I went back to finish making the pancakes and burned the same finger right on top of the new blister. An hour later it burst and the flesh is a funny colour underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 124

Enough!

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to put my kids to bed but my husband kept riling them up with yelling, wrestling, etc. By the time we actually got them to bed I was exhausted. His ass had the nerve to throw a fit because I was too tired for sex. Why does he think I was trying to get them to sleep?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 111

OK boomer

By Haldu - 26/07/2026 22:00 - France - Dijon

Today, while waiting for the tram, I gave 50 cents to an unhoused person in his twenties. A boomer then spent exactly 7 minutes, the time it took for my tram to arrive, explaining to me that young people shouldn't be given money, otherwise they wouldn’t want to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 122

Hair care

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, after spending a week detangling my hair (It took a week because my hands have nerve issues) because it felt like my scalp was glued to my scalp from not being taken care of, I cut it all off. My hair got tangled in the device twice and eventually revealed a burn on my scalp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 112

Drilling time

By scared - 23/10/2025 09:00

Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 73

Clean break

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was let go from my stepmom's family business because she and my dad are getting a divorce, and she says it's too painful and awkward to have me still hired on. I can't afford a wrongful termination suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 64

Goddamn sky rats

By Anonymous - 11/09/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a fancy salad for lunch and went to eat it in the park. A strong gust of wind flipped the lid off and launched half the salad into my lap. As I jumped up to shake it off, I slipped on a stray tomato slice, fell backward onto the grass, and watched as a seagull swooped in to eat my croutons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 108

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 02/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, while getting my MRI, I found out I had claustrophobia when I had a major panic attack and then was pulled out after only completing a single scan. I suffered through the other 10 because if that happened a second time, we'd have to reschedule after I took meds for it. I didn't even know I had claustrophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 74

Freud would have field day

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 137

Cut it off

By Anonymous - 27/06/2026 00:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 126

Hi Chris!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 12:00

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a birthday cake. It was really sweet, until I realized it was for another “Chris” who works in accounting. They only noticed after I blew out the candles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 75

What is this?

By Not my dog - 23/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I paid extra for priority shipping because I desperately needed my package before the weekend. It arrived on time. It was the wrong package. I'm now the proud owner of a dog raincoat. As in a raincoat for dogs. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 75

Let's not keep in touch

By Welp - 16/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried to reach out to an old friend. He answered the phone sounding half-asleep, then suddenly switched to an outrageously fake and racist Indian accent, and started yelling nonsense down the phone once I said my name. Guess that bridge is burned, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 108

Pushed it too far

By It was clean at least - 17/12/2025 20:00

Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 157

Reddish flag?

By wtf - 19/02/2026 20:00

Today, my wife is two months off her birth control as we want a baby. We haven't had sex once. Every little thing I do annoys her now and she keeps complaining that I stink. I shower daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 73

The good old days

By Anonymous - 23/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I don’t normally keep track of the latest fast food menu items (or prices) so when I pulled into the drive-thru line at McDonald's and after I started scanning the menu, the worker asked for my order. I asked, “Where’s the dollar menu or whatever?” They replied, "Probably in the 1990s.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 170

Crisis of faith

By Hmmm… - 04/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I'm no longer interested in praying with my family. That's a very uncomfortable thing for me. I still believe in God and prayer, but it’s uncomfortable when your family is very religious and half of them are ministers. I can’t tell anyone in my family this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 92

Raincheck?

By El - 30/06/2026 09:00 - Canada - Selkirk

Today, what was supposed to be an outdoor market on a busy street got moved to indoors somewhere super out of the way, where nobody goes to, over rain that didn't even happen. I regularly make $100+ at outdoor markets but between the shitty location and all the advertising being for the outdoor location, I made $11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 70

Extra layers

By wizard - 22/02/2026 22:00

Today, I've now lost two hundred pounds and learned that I actually do have a pretty decently-sized dick, it's just been buried under fat for most of my life. Too bad I'm 42 and nobody wants a damn thing to do with a 42 year-old virgin, unless you want to quote a stale Steve Carell movie and laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 114

Sorry sweaty…

By Anonymous - 12/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I had to tell my daughter that she can't go on the cruise with her cousins because she has strep throat. She's been raging and screaming and crying for hours, even accusing us of deliberately making her sick. My heart is just shattered and I don't know how to deal with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 94

Hashtag health goals

By Not that old!! - 26/01/2026 00:00

Today, I’m a retiree who recently joined a gym for the first time. The trainer asked me what my goals were. I said, honestly, “To not fall over.” He nodded and wrote it down. Later I saw my workout plan titled: ANTI-FALL PROTOCOL. Other gym members now ask me how my falling is going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 104

Mindreader

By Jimmyperalta - 28/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend began bitching about how I never take her on dates anymore. I suggested one for tomorrow and now she says she doesn’t wanna go, because, “I should ask her on a date without her having to ask.” What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 305

Tis the season…

By Sneezy weezy - 05/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Fontana

Today, my seasonal allergies are so bad that I can’t function. I have two choices; I can either take Benadryl and be knocked unconscious, or I can take Claritin D but it makes me so jumpy and jittery, I feel like I’m losing my mind. Even the prescription stuff doesn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 80

Just be yourself

By iQuit - 28/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I decided to quit dating. I'm a plus-sized girl and I can’t get a guy to save my life. On dating apps they run for the hills when they see my full body. I even tried dating plus-size guys and even they have standards. I fucking hate society’s “ideal” beauty norms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 563

The first step is the hardest

By Jeff just jeff - 12/01/2026 12:00

Today, I went to the gym after months of procrastinating. I walked straight into the glass wall next to the entrance instead of the door. A guy lifting near the front desk winced in sympathy. I still worked out, but I could see my face slowly swelling in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 139

I don't wanna go

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home after spending the past two months at summer camp, just for my parents to excitedly announce that I'm going to be spending the next two weeks in Florida with my grandma. We have to leave in literally a couple hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 56

Parking lot chaos

By Clumsy - 03/10/2025 03:00

Today, a bag of grapes fell out of my shopping cart in the parking lot. I bent down to grab them, only for the bag to burst open. I ended up chasing runaway grapes across the tarmac, but it's only when a car of strangers started cheering me on that I took the L, gave up the fight, and went back to buy more, but the remaining stock was moldy and shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 94

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The Top

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 952

You deserved it 7 111

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 980

You deserved it 20 220

Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 145

You deserved it 33 257

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 436

You deserved it 8 141

Today, my son threw a temper tantrum and told me I “should have aborted him” and threatened to run away from home. Why? Because I nicely asked him to share his french fries with his sister. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 266

Today, my mum came to visit me in the country where I'm studying. We went out, and when she saw a dude eating something she liked the look of, she made me run after him to ask where he bought it. The guy was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 126