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    : 320



    Self-confidence boost

    Uri - 12/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

    Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
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    Clapback

    Anonymous - 14/06/2025 11:00 - Australia

    Today, the cafe lady misnamed me Michael. I corrected her and jokingly exclaimed that Michael must be really handsome if she mistook me for him. She simply responded, “No, not really.” FML
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    Priorities

    Anonymous - 15/06/2025 22:00 - Poland - Warsaw

    Today, I wanted to spend some time with my girl, but she was more interested in her phone and 90 Day Fiancé. Bored, I went to play video games. Ten minutes later, she came looking for me and yelled that I clearly prefer video games to her. FML
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    Non-confrontational

    Anonymous - 19/06/2025 12:00 - Australia

    Today, I received a text breakup from my boyfriend while we were sitting right next to each other on the couch. He said, “This isn’t working,” and I had to ask, “Is this a joke? You’re literally here.” His phone was on silent. FML
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    Never mix business with pleasure

    Anonymous - 23/06/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML
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    Routine

    RIP - 24/06/2025 13:00 - United States

    Today, two years after marrying my fun, adventurous fiancée, she's turned into a whiny, nagging bore. Date nights are now "eat leftovers and watch reality TV nights" and sex is once a month, with her asking, "Are you about to finish? Are you almost done?" the whole way through. FML
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    Wankers!

    Whoops - 28/06/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

    Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML
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    This is fine

    Anonymous - 30/06/2025 11:00 - Australia - Yarrambat

    Today, I woke up hungover and with the lovely surprise of my monthly cycle. Now I’m at work, sitting with a blaring faulty fire alarm that I have no way to turn off. Everyone who can fix it is on holiday. FML
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    Sharing my journey

    Anonymous - 05/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Healdsburg

    Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML
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    Nice guy

    Anonymous - 08/07/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, there is a reason women don’t like self proclaimed “nice guys.” A guy I turned down years ago took pictures from my breast cancer journey and used them as props during his podcast/video to tell his disgusting fans I deserved cancer for rejecting him. FML
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    SCREAM!

    Anonymous - 10/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Newport

    Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
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    Reverse Uno card

    Anonymous - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I made a small mistake, I admit, but my boss screamed at me that I’m completely useless and that if my uncle weren’t senior manager he’d fire me. I think he’s mistaken me for someone else, since I don’t have any uncles, but if I tell him that now, I actually believe he will fire me. FML
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    Suspicious minds

    Summer - 14/07/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, I came back home from an errand and found my ex in bed, embracing my 20 year-old daughter. They said that nothing has been going on. Glad he's an ex. FML
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    How can I make everything about me?

    Anonymous - 16/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
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    My love language is gibberish

    Anonymous - 18/07/2025 00:00 - United States - San Diego

    Today, I tried to sweet talk my crush by texting them in Spanish using Google Translate. I wanted to say, “You look amazing today,” but it translated to something like, “Your fish smells weird today.” They responded with a confused emoji and “¿Qué?” FML
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    The road to hell…

    Chris - 21/07/2025 08:00 - United States

    Today, I wanted to donate blood for the first time ever at the The 38th Annual Rock and Roll Up Your Sleeve Blood Drive. Unfortunately, someone with my exact name & birthdate was already in the system and 30 minutes were spent trying to correct the problem. Eventually, I got frustrated and left. No good deed goes unpunished. FML
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    A blind date in 2025 is brave

    Anonymous - 26/07/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

    Today, I went on a blind date at a coffee shop. I walked up to who I thought was him, smiled, and said, “Hey! You look even cuter in person!” He looked horrified. It wasn’t my date. My actual date witnessed the whole thing and ghosted me mid-latte. FML
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    Chilling dystopian brainrot

    Anonymous - 28/07/2025 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

    Today, it's been a week since I giggled at my coworker who was worried our jobs will be replaced by AI, since we're delivery drivers. At first I was amused and sceptical, but some sort of paranoia has since kicked in, and I'm now imagining AI drones taking over our jobs and I'm bugging out. FML
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    Work is freedom, duh!

    Exhauster - 30/07/2025 09:00 - Netherlands

    Today, I figured out how my wife sees things. When I'm at work, I don't have to deal with responsibilities at home. Thus, work is a mini-vacation, and since I take a mini-vacation every day, I should have no problem cooking dinner and cleaning for hours after work. FML
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    Drama farmer

    Anonymous - 01/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Boulder

    Today, I stormed out of a restaurant after an argument with my boyfriend to make a dramatic exit. Instead of the front door, I marched into what turned out to be the kitchen. The entire restaurant heard me swear and then quietly shuffle back out. FML
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    Thanks for nothing

    Anonymous - 02/08/2025 16:00 - United States

    Today, I was surprised to see a little extra cash in my account for no reason. Confused, (and a little concerned about fraud) I called customer service. Turns out my dad had accidentally used the wrong routing number and put the money in the wrong account. So much for that extra $35. FML
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    Glow down

    Anonymous - 06/08/2025 12:00 - United States - San Diego

    Today, I told my coworker she looked great and asked if she was “glowing” because she was pregnant. She isn’t pregnant. She is, however, going through a breakup and just gained 10 pounds from comfort eating. FML
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    The world is a scary place, best be prepared

    Anonymous - 13/08/2025 08:00 - United States

    Today, I have spent the last two hours at work looking for the gas pump model of a different gas station than the one I usually go to, only because I don’t want to be embarrassed if I don't know how to use it. All thanks to my crippling anxiety. FML
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    Disconnect

    Sad vegan girl - 15/08/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

    Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML
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    Good boy nonetheless

    Ethan - 18/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I took my new puppy to the dog park, proud of my cute little fluff ball. Instead of behaving nicely like the other dogs present, my dog ignored every toy, treat and friendly dog, and ran straight into a pond. He emerged soaked, covered in mud, and proudly dropped a muddy stick at my feet like it was a trophy. FML
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    Gotta keep grinding

    Anonymous - 22/08/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, I was once again called into work on my day off after someone called in sick. All I want is one day where I get to stay home. Please. FML
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    We care

    Ash - 25/08/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

    Today, my friend spent ages telling me about her friend who is in hospital underweight with anorexia and how she wants to do anything to help because she's so worried. What I wished I could've told her is that my own ED makes me suicidal and I'll probably not survive long, but I'm not underweight so nobody cares. FML
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    I can explain

    Anonymous - 29/08/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, on my lunch break, I was walking to my car balancing 3 tacos, soda and napkins. A gust of wind blew my napkins up the street. In my attempt to catch them, I tripped onto the sidewalk. The tacos landed inside a car. Its owner came out just in time to see me standing next to their dash covered in salsa and lettuce. FML
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    EDs blow

    Shelby - 31/08/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, imagine you’re trying to be conscious about your spending habits, but you’re sad and so you decide to buy food, even though you have food at the house, then you eat it, enjoy it… then throw it all up. FML
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    Naira bucks

    Anonymous - 01/09/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I confidently walked into a meeting thinking I looked sharp in my new shirt. Halfway through, someone pointed out that the tag was still hanging out the back, flapping like a flag. It wasn’t even a size tag, it literally said "₦5,500" in bold. FML
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    Today, my family has been unsuccessfully trying to stop my sister's energy drink addiction. She's not even 30, but the doctors say her heart health (or lack thereof) is roughly equivalent to a person over twice her age. She probably won't even live to 40 at this rate, which makes us sad. Why won't she listen to us? FML
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    Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
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    Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
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    Today, I was expecting a big sum of money for skipping last year's vacation while working as a freelancer, as I've done the last four years. Turns out I won't get the money, as last month I accepted a full time employment, and now that money has been turned into vacation days instead. Guess I won't buy a new home yet… FML
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    Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML
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    Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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