App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    My name is actually Blurt

    Anonymous - 18/12/2025 15:00

    Today, I saw my original birth certificate and realised I’ve spent almost all my life misspelling my first name. Now I’m worried it might invalidate pretty much every legal document I’ve ever signed. FML
    306
    94
      

    Unilateral decision

    Crap - 20/12/2025 09:00

    Today, after reading about microplastics and taking a look at our ratty plastic containers, I tossed them all and spent some money buying some decent glass containers. My wife spent the evening giving me a metric ton of shit because apparently the crappy plastic containers were "sentimental." Fucking spare me. FML
    246
    354
      

    Stiff competition

    Anonymous - 23/12/2025 20:00

    Today, my husband has erectile dysfunction and is too scared to see a local doctor to get prescription helpers. He wants me to fly to another country and buy them over the counter for him instead! And I'm travelling next week. Not sure which is worse. FML
    341
    94
      

    Move on

    Anonymous - 27/12/2025 09:00

    Today, I bought a guy I’ve liked for months a Christmas present and expressed how much he meant to me. He said, “Lol, thanks.” He then went on a date with another girl. Apparently, being loving and caring towards guys gets you used and rejected. My lover girl era is now over. FML
    161
    528
      

    Wait, what?

    - 29/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I confidently answered a question in a meeting, only to realize everyone was staring at me because I’d misunderstood it completely. My boss gently rephrased it while I nodded like that was my point all along. It absolutely wasn’t. FML
    132
    313
      

    Cute miscommunication

    9 to 5 - 30/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I texted my boss to say I’d be late because my train was delayed. Autocorrect changed “delayed” to “derailed.” My boss called immediately, panicked, asking if I was OK. I had to explain it was just a typo while standing safely on the platform. FML
    312
    100
      

    Scammed

    Duped - 03/01/2026 12:00

    Today, after I donated $250 to an influencer promising "insider truth" streams, he vanished overnight, channel gone, comments disabled. I called friends for a loan but they're dealing with their own bills. I skipped lunch for two days and now my car payment is overdue. FML
    67
    1 392
      

    What gauge strings are you using??

    Anonymous - 07/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I forgot to tune my guitar pre-performance. Surprising, because it was in tune when I frantically did it by ear backstage. Too bad two of the six strings snapped, smacking the drummer in the face. FML
    150
    255
      

    Control freak

    - 08/01/2026 20:00

    Today, I told my girl to go upstairs and change her shorts to pants since my friends were over watching the game. She came back down wearing even shorter booty shorts and a tube top. I was so pissed, I couldn’t even enjoy the match, and I know my friends are never gonna let me live this down. FML
    97
    1 240
      

    This sparks no joy

    Anonymous - 10/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I took a good look, and I mean a really good look around the house and I realized that if I simply threw away all my wife’s useless crap she bought and hasn’t used in years, or even unwrapped from the plastic, we could probably move into a smaller, cheaper house. FML
    353
    93
      

    Oh, right

    brainrot - 14/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I spent an entire conversation nodding and agreeing with someone, only to realize near the end that I'd misunderstood one key detail and was agreeing with the opposite of what they meant. I laughed awkwardly and said, “Oh, I thought you meant the other thing.” They said, “I know.” FML
    134
    316
      

    Time to let go

    - 15/01/2026 22:00

    Today, my husband is leading us into financial ruin by insisting on paying for his senior dog’s cancer treatment, but the poor thing is so old and miserable, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse at this point. He won’t listen to reason, our bills are all past due, and my car is about to get repossessed. FML
    525
    85
      

    Must stay productive

    Anonymous - 19/01/2026 12:00

    Today, I experienced my third day in a row with visual aura causing a migraine. I informed my safety and human resources departments, who both offered help. When I went to tell my supervisor, she told me that women experience this all the time and I need to learn to deal with it. FML
    396
    74
      

    Point made

    Anonymous - 23/01/2026 00:00

    Today, to prove to my wife that she's incapable of leaving on time, I told her we needed to leave by 6 and gave her no further reminders. At 6:45 she “still need 5 more minutes.” Then she got mad when she came downstairs at 7:20 and I was in my pyjamas, because what's the fucking point leaving now? FML
    584
    72
      

    The truth of the matter

    Anonymous - 02/02/2025 18:00 - United States - New York

    Today, I found out that the high school program that I was forced into, which kept me in school until I turned 21, was caused by my mom. She put me in the program without telling me and when I first learned about it, she pretended not to know anything so I wouldn't be mad at her. That was 10 years ago. FML
    505
    120
      

    Risky move

    Anonymous - 08/02/2025 09:00 - Canada

    Today, I sent a risky text to my crush and immediately put my phone on airplane mode so I wouldn’t spend the next hour anticipating and responding to his reply. I forgot I did this and spent the whole day thinking he was ignoring me, but when I switched it back on, I'd not received a single message. FML
    189
    496
      

    Can I get a raincheck?

    Emily - 11/02/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I fell down my backyard steps at my own housewarming party, ended up breaking my ankle, and am now non-weight bearing for 10 weeks. I'm supposed to start a new job tomorrow, where I'm always on my feet. FML
    498
    87
      

    Losing my mind

    Anonymous - 15/02/2025 06:00 - United States

    Today, I checked my jacket pocket for my smartphone, all while still holding my smartphone. FML
    124
    386
      

    Which way now?

    Nadia - 03/03/2025 08:00 - United States

    Today, it's been two years since my fiancé proposed, drunk, and with no ring. Recently, I overheard him on a Zoom call with a work colleague who'd not talked to him since he was with his last girlfriend, who was much more attractive than I am. The colleague asked if they were still together and he lied and said yes. FML
    453
    129
      

    No contact

    Newbrokehome - 06/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Pleasant Hope

    Today, I'm closing on my first house. Everyone's congratulating me, but all I can think about is the impending fallout when I tell my abusive, psychotic mother she's not welcome and the family sides with her. FML
    518
    98
      

    Hangry

    Anonymous - 08/03/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
    109
    697
      

    I did what now?

    Lost what I never knew I had - 15/03/2025 18:00 - United States

    Today, my husband rushed me to the hospital, and we were told that I'd had a miscarriage. Neither of us knew I was pregnant. FML
    616
    89
      

    Needy girl

    Invisible Lass - 21/03/2025 01:00 - United States

    Today, my husband called me annoyingly needy for saying he never compliments me. I could be half-naked, shaking my ass on the internet, or cruising bars to get validation from strangers. God forbid a woman wants the one person she loves to pay her a crumb of attention. FML
    433
    172
      

    Cute kitty

    Anonymous - 24/03/2025 22:00 - Australia

    Today, after I'd ordered a cute dress online for an upcoming date, I tried it on, only to realise it was more of a glorified napkin than a dress. The tag online had said “One size fits all.” I now have a dress that fits my cat better than it fits me. FML
    318
    170
      

    Breaking news

    Anonymous - 28/03/2025 04:00 - United States - Reno

    Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML
    443
    81
      

    A shadow of my former self

    NurseIAm - 04/04/2025 06:00 - United States - Belchertown

    Today, I interviewed at a hospital and shadowed on the unit. Within two hours, I had been splashed with blood, and witnessed a young patient abruptly die, imprinting a horrible memory. Traumatized, and not even selected for hire. FML
    419
    146
      

    Tipping point

    Anonymous - 11/04/2025 12:00 - United States

    Today, I went to a self-checkout kiosk and it asked if I wanted to tip. For what? Watching myself scan groceries? I still ended up tipping 10% because I panicked. FML
    111
    451
      

    Virallity gone wrong

    Anonymous - 18/04/2025 15:00 - Canada - Toronto

    Today, a screenshot of an old tweet of mine went viral. Unfortunately, it was completely taken out of context, thinking it was saying the opposite of what I actually meant, and now I’m trending on both “Libs of TikTok” and “Woke Watch” or whatever the fuck. FML
    177
    367
      

    Royalty

    princess - 21/04/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
    68
    1 528
      

    Vacation by proxy

    Anonymous - 23/04/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

    Today, I realised that the only thing I am looking forward to this summer is watching Love Island from the comfort and darkness of my shitty couch, because I can't afford to do anything as exotic as going somewhere sunny. FML
    313
    131
      
    • 71
    • 72
    • 73
    • 74
    • 75
    • 76
    • 77
    • 78
    • 79
    • 80

    Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I signed up for my ex’s OnlyFans. She never sent me nudes when we were dating, now she’s selling them to everyone she knows. FML
    908
    1 628
    Today, my psycho ex is threatening to take me to court on child abuse allegations. How did I abuse them? I “gendered” our children by buying them certain colored clothing and toys... that they’d asked for. FML
    5 386
    317
    Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
    23 074
    1 901
    Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML
    24 729
    6 780
    Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green…" I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with, "…ya know, like a dog." FML
    61 014
    5 870
    Today, my mother told me that I could take a friend on vacation with us. Then she added that because I have no friends, my brother can bring his girlfriend instead. FML
    14 212
    1 009

    © VDM SAS,

    ​