By Host grandfather - 21/09/2018 12:00 - United States - Tampa
The Top
Keep it down
By Anonymous - 08/11/2018 22:00
Rage Quit
By Redsnation - 08/08/2017 05:02
By Anonymous - 04/06/2017 00:00
What ARE you doing?
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Erection for Protection
By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00
Family Matters
By whyme102008 - 13/07/2011 06:32 - United States
(facepalm)
By Anonymous - 06/02/2018 15:00
By NotSarahConnor - 12/03/2018 01:30 - United States - Staten Island
By Annie - 24/08/2015 08:46 - United Kingdom - London
By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00
By mother of piggies - 04/04/2018 15:00
By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:15 - United States - Bronx
By Anonymous - 19/04/2018 01:30
By Anonymous - 31/08/2019 06:03 - United States - New York
By Wtf - 12/02/2018 17:56 - Australia - Peakhurst
By Anonymous - 20/07/2016 03:01 - United Kingdom
By no handouts! - 21/04/2018 15:00 - Philippines - San Pedro
By LifeSucks - 17/11/2018 05:00
Not her fault nor mine
By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00
By nocongratsneeded - 04/11/2015 03:23 - United States - Bloomfield Hills
nocongratsneeded tells us more.
By now my watch begins - 31/07/2017 13:00 - United States - Simi Valley
OMG
By At least she knows I floss - 25/08/2017 23:15 - United States - Pomona
Sexy time
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
By Nyusziful - 26/06/2016 20:42 - Hungary - Nagykanizsa
Nyusziful tells us more.
It was actually a small family event with only 20 guests, so he really didn't have to look after a huge crowd. And I was the only one in a big white dress :)
By sadmama - 23/02/2018 15:00
Fetishes come in all sizes
By unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy
Is that even possible?
By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 01:30 - United States - Bellerose
Trevor
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Oklahoma City
By Mortified - 25/02/2017 02:00 - United States
Keywords
Hi all, this is the OP. Obviously, he's my ex, even though he doesn't seem to realize it yet to judge by the texts and phone calls. To give a little more background, we'd been together for almost three years. We were talking about moving in together (but not getting married, I've seen too many of my friends get divorced already). To really prove that the universe hates me, he and I were still using condoms, because I am that freaked out about pregnancy and I can't take hormonal BC. This is the first time ever I've had one break. I'm sure I'm going to catch a lot of flak for this, but I have scheduled an abortion for the end of this week. It's not a human or a potential one to me, it's just a burden and reminder that former relationship was based on a big fat lie. Plus, being pregnant makes me even more anxious than the thought of being pregnant ever did, and I was full-on tokophobic before. Every time I think about having my body being overtaken by some disgusting little alien creature, my heart starts pounding and I get dizzy. I don't know how many times I've thrown up on cue just thinking about it, and it's not from morning sickness. I also really, really, really dislike babies, contrary to my ex's assumptions. I had one shoved at me when I was a teenager, and I nearly dropped it because everything about it terrified me. I don't think it's a good idea to just hope that those maternal hormones kick in and make me suddenly like kids when I haven't since as long as I can remember. So...no congratulations needed, and no pro-life or pro-adoption rants, either. If you'd find it in your heart to suck it up and make the best of this situation, good for you. The best situation for me is to put everything about this horrible experience behind me as soon as possible.