The Top

OP, here. Once, I got out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. It was hot so I cracked a window to let in fresh air. Somehow that was indecent and I got yelled at, and he's been on my case ever since.

By hazeblaze - 06/10/2017 23:15

Today, I noticed that my dad's WhatsApp profile picture was a very close up shot of his new wife's boob. None of us know how long he had this online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 137

You deserved it 266

No thanks

By MrLonelyHertz - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Kingman

Today, I sat down for class. The second I sat down, the guy next to me stood up and moved all the way to the other side of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 190

You deserved it 1 407

This is why we can't have nice things.

By Anonymous - 29/09/2017 20:00

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 230

You deserved it 454

Twerking hard or hardly twerking?

By SailorSolaris - 04/10/2017 18:50 - United States

Today, I managed to pull a muscle at work. In my ass. While standing still. I still don't know how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 138

You deserved it 320

SailorSolaris tells us more.

SailorSolaris 43

Wednesday 4 October 2017 3:04

Op here. Still don't know how it happened. Third time, too, though the other times were in my back. Anyone have a clue?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2017 01:30

Today, I met my favourite singer, but when she signed my CD, the marker was out of ink. By the time I realised there was no signature, she was already gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 186

You deserved it 408

By Jodie Zawadzka - 20/10/2017 06:00

Today, Hurricane Ophelia hit. I had been meaning to fix my roof for a while but couldn't get around to it. My roof is now embedded in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 075

You deserved it 1 375

RIP Beard

By captain patch beard - 03/10/2019 18:01

Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 172

You deserved it 462

Gross out

By lawdwhy - 12/11/2017 22:09

Today, my sense of smell is severely impaired by a bad cold. As a result, I inadvertently ate some highly questionable dairy. I figured this out after my roommate sniffed my yogurt and gagged, just before my bowels had their opportunity to object to my meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 082

You deserved it 503

By darianvilla - 22/07/2016 23:35 - United States - College Park

Today, I was happy because my co-worker was almost about to get fired due to his lazy habits. It was all going so well. Then I accidentally put my biggest sale yet under his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 981

You deserved it 16 877

By Now I'm Broke - 22/11/2017 15:00

Today, I took my $2,000 drone out and shot some beautiful footage of an old dam. I hid it behind a rock to explore the area further without carrying it, but when I came back it was gone. I was splitting the payments with my uncle. I work a minimum wage job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 8 052

By Anonymous - 18/07/2016 11:51 - Belgium

Today, my boss refused my resignation and acted like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 138

You deserved it 1 174

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 280

You deserved it 5 600

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 266

You deserved it 2 263

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 960

You deserved it 5 082

Today, I got home to find my entire video game collection and all my consoles had been stolen. Two weeks ago I brought them back from my University accommodation, specifically to stop them from being stolen while I was at home for the Christmas holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 631

You deserved it 2 550

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says, 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my lightsaber'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 593

You deserved it 10 470

Today, my neighbor waved at me while he mowing his lawn. Wanting to be friendly, I waved back. In doing so I tripped on the curb, fell onto my own trash can, and rolled halfway into the street. He didn’t stop mowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 134