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By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 23:30 - United States - Trenton

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 318

You deserved it 2 211

By BrokeStudentTryingToDoSomethingNice - 02/12/2016 06:31

Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all the post and gifts they have been sending her. For a special birthday / Christmas, I'd splurged on an expensive, interactive mystery game where you are mailed clues over the course of 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 996

You deserved it 1 577

Dementia

By RyoKioKio - 30/05/2017 20:00

Today, just like every day for the past two weeks, my mother has told me just how much she doesn't want me to move out. I, once again, have had to remind her that she isn't the one I'm trying to get away from. I'm not a fan of being repeatedly smacked with a coffee mug by my 78-year-old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 905

You deserved it 204

By Kml - 14/11/2016 12:31

Today, and like every year, my godmother sent me a card asking me why I never call her, and why we don't go out on my birthday. Six years ago, she told me on my birthday I was going to hell for moving with my boyfriend and then sprayed me with perfume. He is now my husband, and she claims she forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 493

You deserved it 735

By Anonymous - 12/06/2017 02:00

Today, I learned there are people who will beat you up if you don't give them your spot on a bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 595

You deserved it 324

By Anonymous - 11/09/2015 10:51 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, while blissfully unaware that it was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I was making paper airplanes during my free period in school. Next thing I know, I was reported for, "making jokes about the 9/11 attacks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 493

You deserved it 8 873

By Sarah_Mow - 28/10/2016 02:31

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public bathroom. As I was about to put the tampon into the sanitary bin, I dropped it and it rolled under the stall next to mine. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 454

You deserved it 1 135

By Anonymous - 06/09/2015 04:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 683

You deserved it 2 164

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 803

You deserved it 81 479

Pretend it's snowing

By babypenguin00 - 29/08/2015 19:20 - United States - Newark

Today, marks the third girlfriend in a row that has broken up with me for my terrible dandruff. I can't control it as I was born with psoriasis. All three girls called me pathetic for "making up" a disease to try to get them to stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 338

You deserved it 1 985

By jaimpastaggle - 06/10/2016 14:24 - France

Today, after spending over two hours cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, my 5-year-old then runs in, yells, “Snowstorm!” and throws a bag of flour all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 118

By jessiluvxx - 25/09/2016 21:08 - United States - Kearny

Today, I was called to be told I'm fired for not showing up for my shift. I guess she didn't check her voice message to see that I gave birth last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 269

You deserved it 787

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By anonymous - 06/09/2010 07:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I'd met on Facebook, we went back to his apartment. All was going good, until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 829

You deserved it 19 886

By Idk - 29/05/2014 06:46 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 761

You deserved it 5 114

By orangediva - 18/09/2016 17:16 - Australia - Subiaco

Today, whilst at work as a furniture salesperson, a couple was looking at a couch. As part of our sales technique, we invite people to take a seat. The man was wearing shorts, and his testicles dropped out to the side. I had to discuss fabric options, etc, whilst avoiding looking at his balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 876

You deserved it 983

orangediva tells us more.

orangediva 10

Sunday 9 October 2016 14:35

OP here second attempt. Stubbies are Australian shorts which are very short. Commonly worn with thongs and a singlet, classy! Anyway, you know when you are on a diet and you are not allowed to eat chocolate. It's the same trying to not look at a pair of danglies. And I knew you all would put up some great comments. Thank you :)

By Aeare_ - 17/09/2016 04:15 - United States - Dixon

Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 588

You deserved it 1 247

Brute force

By please knock - 13/09/2016 23:26 - United States - Needham

Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 524

You deserved it 1 230

By Anonymous - 18/09/2017 01:30

Today, I realized that the random string of numbers I deleted in my phone notes a few months ago was actually the pin code to my new bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 236

You deserved it 2 793

Bounced

By Anonymous - 11/09/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at a metal concert and I met a really cute girl. We got talking, and started getting close. We were about to kiss during the transitional period between 2 bands, but I was then pulled away by her father, who owned the venue. I was thrown out. Before the main act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 048

You deserved it 269

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 198

By cerulean - 10/10/2017 01:30

Today, a nurse berated me for not being able to lift my leg myself so she could put a cast on. My leg is broken in two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 479

You deserved it 285

By Never Again - 09/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Riverhead

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 372

You deserved it 4 313

Fake it til you make it

By aurelj1 - 03/08/2016 19:59 - United States - Colleyville

Today, I went out to dinner with my mom and several of her friends. My mom spent the entire night gushing about my Ivy League school and med student boyfriend. I attend a state university and I'm single. She threatened to cut me off if I didn't play along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 195

You deserved it 1 045

Romance isn't dead

By budda1368 - 09/10/2019 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 261

You deserved it 1 308

Good question

By epictothemax - 10/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue stud and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin said, "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 159

You deserved it 13 235

By emisara93 - 23/12/2017 19:00

Today, I chipped my tooth by biting down on my toothbrush. I don't know what hurts more: the irony or the fact I have no dental insurance until January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 700

You deserved it 481

Classic

By Can't Spell Worth A Damn - 06/03/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 770

You deserved it 41 855

By Butqhy - 30/06/2016 11:07

Today, while in the airport, I had to use the washroom. Upon exiting, I got confused due to an excess of mirrors and walked directly into one in front of an audience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 483

You deserved it 1 855

By justanaccount - 27/02/2009 19:35 - Spain

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 627

You deserved it 12 034

One night

By Anonymous - 25/01/2020 01:00 - Sweden - Ängelholm

Today, I woke up after putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize what I'd done until I smelt burning plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 944

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Today, I had the longest, bloodiest, bloody nose ever when I was at work. I got blood on a few materials as I was running to the restroom. I work in a food factory, so everything had to be sanitized and thrown out. Now management wants me to pay for everything we had to throw out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 774

You deserved it 2 004

Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 062

You deserved it 4 056

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 091

You deserved it 5 885

Today, I thought my face was breaking out with pimples, and I thought it was weird because I never break out. And I noticed all these "bug bites" all over my body. When I got home, I realized those weren't bug bites. I have chicken pox, and my high school graduation is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 326

You deserved it 3 724

Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 356

You deserved it 5 953

Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 595

You deserved it 7 458