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Get on with it

By Hate Essay - 09/12/2022 03:00

Today, I tried to finish an essay, which is already overdue by 5 days. I know the longer I procrastinate, the longer the pain will last, but my brain is still not working and can't start to write. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 858

Private talent show

By Juan - 23/04/2024 20:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, we live in a terraced house with very thin walls. For no reason, I sang "Una paloma blanca, I have a huge hairy cock" loudly in the bathroom. I walked down the garden path and encountered my neighbour, who laughed and sang "Una paloma blanca" whilst nodding knowingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 520

By Peter - 27/12/2011 02:24 - United States

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 569

You deserved it 3 003

Mooch

By Laura - 12/12/2022 12:00

Today, my mom made a comment on how “illegal immigrants” should just come legally and do it the right way, so they “wouldn’t be illegal and mooching off American taxpayers.” This is coming from someone who married someone she didn’t even love, my ex-stepdad for a green card and citizenship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 208

Robocall

By Anonymous - 26/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 111

Scavengers

By Anonymous - 25/12/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 014

You deserved it 26 807

Not quite ready for the Winter Olympics

By Floof - 15/02/2010 13:35 - United States

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 592

You deserved it 4 901

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 083

You deserved it 75 614

Speak up

By Help me - 28/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, as I experienced another bout of existential dread while trying to sleep, I declared that it would be the day I opened up to my family about the full extent of my mental health struggles. Also today, I didn't do it. Again. Because I'm anxious it may inconvenience them to worry about me too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 161

Romance is dead

By Mom - 08/11/2025 03:00

Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 204

By Username - 18/02/2011 05:19

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 489

You deserved it 4 984

Aliexpress Romeo and Juliet

By Anonymous - 13/12/2022 18:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's sister and within a few hours we were in love. Seriously, personality-wise I’ve had more fun today just talking with her sister than I have for over a year dating my girlfriend, including the sex. We don’t want to cheat and hurt her sister. This sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 1 216

By I am not amused! - 03/11/2013 22:53 - United Kingdom - Andover

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 546

You deserved it 3 649

HELP!

By CandyMachine - 16/02/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 839

You deserved it 9 849

Down the drain

By Are you f*cking kidding me? - 14/12/2022 12:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend had a side chick for the last two years of our relationship. How? He started crying after she broke up with him to try and salvage her own marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 218

Long time coming, probably

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 03:00

Today, to punish my wife for disrespecting me in front of my friends, I told her I wasn't going to help with the baby tonight. When I woke up, she and my baby were gone with nothing more than a text saying she was speaking to a divorce lawyer. Over one night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 1 620

Get me out

By bosslady12 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized that I needed a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 551

You deserved it 3 406

By xetsa - 13/02/2010 05:23 - France

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 748

You deserved it 3 237

Delicate cycle

By Fergie03 - 14/11/2025 22:00

Today, I did laundry for the first time in weeks. Feeling productive, I dumped everything in, including what I thought was my pile of towels. Turns out, I washed (and shrunk) my roommate’s $200 wool sweater. She found out when I proudly showed her how “clean” everything looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 447

By zaneey - 17/01/2009 18:41 - Australia

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 677

You deserved it 42 800

Graham, is that you?

By Nazi ex bf - 17/11/2025 12:00

Today, during a social media dive on my new boyfriend, I found out his username on an old forum was "Hitlerdidnothingwrong69." I confronted him, and all he said was, "It was a different time, that was funny then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 191

By Down - 16/01/2009 14:58 - United States

Today, my ex told me he broke up with me because he loved me, and that he was afraid of the commitment. He's living with his new girlfriend now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 385

You deserved it 1 940

Got a screw loose

By stupid^2 - 04/10/2021 20:00

Today, I did something you never ever should do. I removed the screw in the shower drain. What I didn't know was that it's impossible to know if the shower will leak afterwards. I just wanted to properly clean the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 308

Creeped out

By AITA - 09/05/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my sister will be giving birth to my niece any day now. She repeatedly insists on showing me her heavily pregnant belly. I don't know how to tell her that I find pregnancy bellies repulsive without sounding like a dick. I don't even know why this is. I just don't like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 167

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By Satan’s child - 19/11/2025 15:00

Today, my parents tried to stage an intervention for me. Drugs? No. Alcohol? Nope. Gambling? Nah ah. They wanted to intervene on behalf of my soul since I decided I no longer believe in their religion. I had to threaten to call the cops when the escalated to attempt a forced exorcism on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 86

By ImNotFat - 18/02/2015 04:22 - New Zealand

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 975

You deserved it 3 290

By Anonymous - 28/10/2013 06:31 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 172

You deserved it 3 955

By dogh8er - 18/12/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 159

You deserved it 3 564

It's called growing old

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 11:01

Today, I woke up with the nastiest, most brutal hangover ever. I haven't had alcohol in 10 years and I only eat healthy, yet my body craps itself out because… reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 166

Consolation prize

By Anonymous - 10/10/2021 02:00 - Australia - Bairnsdale

Today, I realised my bestie ditched me for her best friend, which was fine because it's her first. But then I found out she's been hanging out with other new friends and never once thought to hit me up, until I messaged her about feeling sad we hadn't hung out in a while because of the pandemic. Guess it wasn't just the pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 158

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The Top

Today, I found out that my mother has been pretending that I'm a woman so that she doesn't have to tell her colleagues that she has a gay son. Apparently this has been going on for the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 834

You deserved it 1 002

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 211

You deserved it 10 432

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 486

You deserved it 2 019

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 381

Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 1 259

Today, I realized that every guy I get with or try a relationship with always ghosts me or friendzones me, and chooses to date someone else. It’s been a repetitive pattern for the past three years or so. I think I’m just going to adopt a bunch of pets and forget dating altogether. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 233