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guys I wrote this FML... to clear some things up... I was working at a fast food restaurant, not a real restaurant(not fancy and all that). So I was behind the counter and couldn't go out to look at what had happened to the dumb moron that kept asking for napkins. Then my boss came out and told me to go and check, when i went to the table, that lady saw me, took her kid, and RAN theough the door. Then I told my boss what had happened and he told me to go and clean it. SAdly, I couldnt find that moron that did that, but if i ever see her, shes gonna get it! #103-104: jeje :D

Social safety net full of holes

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 05:01

Today, I was yet again denied food stamps. They think I make $1000 a week with only 25 hours a week. Each time I have to apply, they say, "We get that number from your pay stubs." They don't understand that those are four separate weeks. I'm sure it's illogical for a part time bagger to make $40 an hour before taxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 124

Where's Mario when you need him?

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 15:00 - Canada

Today, I finally started a DIY home improvement project I'd been putting off for a while now. As I was drilling into the wall, I managed to hit a plumbing pipe that I didn't know was there and started flooded my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 717

Wandering eye

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband managed to crash the car because he was too busy looking at an attractive girl with her leggings wedged up her ass crack, and I know he only crashed because he was looking at her, because I was in the car with him when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 113

Make it stop

By whatzthehell - 03/06/2009 10:31 - Kuwait

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 649

You deserved it 51 478

Classic

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 18:00

Today, my physician, a known drunk himself, told me I was drinking too much and I should quit before my kidneys decide to divorce me and take the house and car with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 892

Another case for Alanis Morrissette

By Tandy - 30/04/2023 18:00 - Japan - Nagano

Today, I was trying to back up my messaging information on an app so if it ever got deleted I wouldn’t lose all my information. It ended up glitching out and erasing all my contacts and messages. Now I can’t even message back the guy I like that I’m not ignoring him. There goes that relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 184

Politeness

By Anonymous - 25/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I politely asked my neighbor if she could tell her kids to be a little more quiet, and I guess I wasn't the first one to approach her. She slammed the door in my face, but not before screaming, "I bet none of you would be doing this if we were white." FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 105

By Hesintrouble - 23/07/2013 19:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 047

You deserved it 4 339

Genius move

By Soopa-Genius - 22/09/2011 12:06 - Canada

Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 534

You deserved it 2 696

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 15:00

Today, I told my boyfriend he has to stop paying half of his baby mama's rent or I would leave. He laughed and said I could leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 834

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 476

You deserved it 25 255

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 579

You deserved it 3 028

Wasting away

By Mustanggt - 19/02/2022 16:01

Today, my dry spell reached the 15-year mark. I've been employed and in shape the whole time, and now I can feel my body wearing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 251

Bodyshaming

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 14:02 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my coworker doesn't want to go to lunch with me anymore, after I lost a load of weight in lockdown and she's still "overweight." Apparently, I've "changed, and not the same person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 77

Can you describe the item?

By Anonymous - 11/05/2023 22:00

Today, after I ordered a sextoy on Amazon, it’s the only cancelled order I’ve had an issue not receiving a refund with quickly. Now I may need to talk to customer service about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 378

Wafting

By Anonymous woman - 05/10/2024 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, at a family gathering, I was talking to my uncle about my "awful neighbor who smokes pot all day while listening to shitty bro country, and tries to cover the smell with cheap incense." After a moment of awkward silence, I remembered my cousin, his son, is my neighbor. He was more offended by the fact that I'd insulted his taste in music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 473

Dang!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband allowed his 16-year-old daughter to get married. Every single objection and concern I had, they ignored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 83

By thelordofpies - 17/10/2014 15:24 - United States

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 670

You deserved it 3 487

thelordofpies tells us more.

thelordofpies 20

Saturday 18 October 2014 2:32

Hey OP here, thanks for all the support guys. Luckily I didn't get into an accident. I was able to come out of the whole incident without a scratch but a massive itchy red welt. The doctor said I'll be fine in a few days time. :)

By ouch - 16/09/2011 05:21 - United States

Today, my sister told me that she read that the pain of giving birth is equal to the pain of breaking 20 bones at once. I'm 19 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 314

You deserved it 5 911