The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Is there that much demand for that sort of thing?

By Paper Plane in the Night Sky - 16/11/2023 00:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my overly jealous insecure brother "found" my ATM receipt, and called me out during a family luncheon, accusing me for being a drug dealer because, "How else could someone who is unemployed even before the pandemic could have almost 7 digits?" I couldn't answer them. Secretly, I'm a furry hentai artist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 249

By whaaaaat111 - 09/03/2013 12:04 - United States - Vienna

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 732

You deserved it 2 773

By Noname - 17/03/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 250

You deserved it 62 657

Cat vs. pancakes

By demix_fml - 06/10/2019 02:01

Today, it's my birthday, I knew I would be on my own, so I brought some pancakes, only to come down and find that not only had my cat eaten them, but also that I’d have to clean his barf up. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 266

Definitely

By pizzaface - 27/07/2022 12:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I discovered that of the three medicines I now have to take, all three of them have acne as a side effect. When acne is a side effect, I am 100% guaranteed to get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 116

Doesn't everyone do this?

By Anonymous - 20/05/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why my boyfriend takes so long in the bathroom. Apparently he has a system for shitting he’s very OCD about: he has to be naked in case poo touches any of his clothes, he has to wipe stood up with one leg elevated, and the whole process takes 10x longer than it should. FFS! FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 131

Health hazard

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 544

You deserved it 3 851

Ask first, snoop later

By Jenna - 07/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 3 241

Accept it

By Anonymous - 21/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother refuses to acknowledge that I’m married because instead of a church, we got married outdoors in a lovely pagan ceremony (with a real marriage licence from the city council, obviously) and she keeps trying to introduce me to nice, single men from church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 133

By hannahg - 24/03/2014 00:44 - United States - Romulus

Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 434

You deserved it 3 814

A rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 16:02

Today, I got back from a camping trip after being homesick for 3 weeks. I couldn't remember why I had wanted to be away from my family for so long when I signed up for it. When I got home, I remembered. Everyone in my family hates each other. I want to go back to the camping site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 273

Spook Magook

By Anonymous - 02/06/2021 08:01

Today, I found rodent droppings in my bed, inches away from where my pillow is. I spend almost 99% of my time in my room and I never once heard or saw any signs of a rodent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 132

Card sharp

By Anonymous - 25/05/2025 22:00

Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 84

Crossed purposes

By knee2tak - 14/03/2009 09:46 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend, "We need to talk." He said, "I know". So we met after school, and he said he was OK with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 398

You deserved it 11 302

Grossed out

By tiaox - 04/06/2021 11:01

Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 267

By Anonymous - 15/03/2014 21:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 930

You deserved it 11 688

By Derek Lee - 22/05/2011 13:53 - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 874

You deserved it 70 413

Pest control

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to empty a mousetrap, only to discover that SOMETHING had eaten the dead mouse's brain and eyeballs. I reset the trap, only to find a half-dead mouse struggling to get out an hour later. My office is like its own tiny little horror movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 93

By crétin-crédule - 26/02/2013 05:02 - France - Isle

Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 337

By braceface - 07/07/2010 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 279

You deserved it 8 038

Overenthusiastic

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to pick my wife up and put her on the worktop for some oral fun, and when I say "tried" I mean I failed. My back spasmed for the first time in my life and I sort of threw her into the fridge door. I’m now in agony, she’s mad that I “think she’s fat”, and the fridge has a dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 10:25 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 690

You deserved it 3 961

Nice try

By anonymous - 29/06/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 717

You deserved it 12 976

Disappointing

By Muon66 - 11/06/2021 03:59

Today, I showed my 5-year-old son a photo with a ginger cat and her 6 newborn kittens. I forgot to tell my son the cat mom is not the male ginger cat at home, despite them looking exactly same. His excitement became deep sorrow and a tantrum when he figured out that we didn't get half a dozen kittens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 635

Touch grass

By Sanity’s End - 23/08/2022 00:00

Today, my friend started talking about Hunter Biden’s laptop, again. I told him if all that hearsay and conjecture is true, we should definitely never elect him to public office. His response? “No, you don’t understand…” and started all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 357

Scapegoat

By Kitty T - 09/12/2023 20:00 - Australia - Townsville

Today, my mum's response to my psycho sister being angry and threatening my partner, was that I should make her angry at me since she needs someone to hate, and I'm the default, so I handle it better anyway. This was after I asked her to get my sister professional help, and she denied the need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 116

Unloveable

By Grant Williams - 13/06/2021 08:01 - United States - Frisco

Today, I had a conversation with a girl on Tinder, for the third time this month. Just like the other two girls, she turned out to be a prostitute. Only prostitutes will give me the time of day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 207

Queen's gambit

By xinxiulin - 27/08/2022 00:00 - Australia

Today, my best friends became friends with my ex-girlfriend, saying she was really nice. I found this to be an awful lot of BS because my ex didn't even like me, and liked someone else while dating me. That was an arsehole move. My friends all became friendly with her, disregarding my presence, and saying she's "so nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 209

Nervous

By Anonymous - 13/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 160

Whhyyyyyyy?

By Chilly - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Wasilla

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend had broken up with me. She was more upset about it than I was. She actually almost cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 249

You deserved it 4 367

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Photography Mysterious Neighbours Cute Relatable Family Love NSFW Sex Intimacy Mental health Ironic Embarrassing Haircut Money YouTube Wake up Messy DIY Awkward Cheating Pregnancy Kids Birthday Cats Animals Kittens Dogs Parenting

The Top

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 4 826

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 155

You deserved it 17 986

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 472

You deserved it 2 654

Today, I washed my backpack. Unfortunately, I forgot to empty that ONE little pocket inside, so I also washed 5 bucks, a mirror, some tissues and a notepad. Now my backpack is full of mirror shards and thousands of tiny pieces of paper-fuzz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 768

Today, I posted a picture of a drawing that I was so proud of on Twitter. It was the best drawing I’ve ever done. A few minutes later, someone commented saying, “What is this?” Looks like it’s back to the drawing board for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 227

Today, after discovering that I’m pregnant from a week-long fling three months ago, I reached out to the guy, praying he’d be willing to offer some financial support, as I’m flat broke. Turns out he died in a car accident last month. I can’t even afford an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 783